Thor Jokes

What's the difference between a stubbed toe and an Asgard hero?

Nothing they are both Thor.

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What do Luke Bryant and a Nordic breast plate have on common?

They're on Thor.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Why did no one notice Thor's brother?

Because he was low-key

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard ...I'll see myself out

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

because he is a Norsissist.

Why didn't Thor like the party?

It was too Loki.

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How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why is Thor's brother always overlooked?

Because he's low key.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe?

Thor.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl."

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party?

Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'.

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

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Loki Jokes More Loki Jokes

What's a Vikings favourite dance?

The Loki cokey.

How does an Asgardian like his parties?

Loki

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs?

Be sharp or Be flat.

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

Because she used the other to sing

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the man sleep after being run over by a car?

Because he got tired.

What's the main difference between light and hard?

I can go to sleep with a light on

Asgard Jokes More Asgard Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

Thor Brother Jokes More Thor Brother Jokes

How does Thor's brother like to party?

He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key

How did Thor's brother get his powers?

Just Loki I guess

Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

How much less could you care?

Coworker: I don't get it. Me: I noticed.

Why is NATO afraid of Russia?

Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ?

An octopuss !