Moses Jokes

How does Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-nile

How did Moses feel after falling for a craigslist scam?

Egypt.

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

How did Moses part the Red Sea?

He used a Sea-saw.

How did Moses make his coffee?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews!

Why doesn't Moses buy beer?

He brews it.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst?

God Dam It!

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

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How is the Easter Bunny like Shaquille O'Neal?

They're both famous for stuffing baskets!

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Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

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What do you call a man who can smell the future?

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He was too far out man!!

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When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

Why do writers hate the bible?

It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.