Moses Jokes

How does Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-nile

How did Moses feel after falling for a craigslist scam?

Egypt.

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How did Moses part the Red Sea?

He used a Sea-saw.

How did Moses make his coffee?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews!

Why doesn't Moses buy beer?

He brews it.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst?

God Dam It!

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

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HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

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What do you call a Mexican chicken giving directions?

Arrows con Pollo

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He was asking for directions.

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How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi?

Hebrew".

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Why do arabs use Colgate before going to the airport?

because it provides cavity protection

Why is Oliver North like Kraang?

They both love using the shredder.

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Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What did the ocean ask the scooba diver?

Water you doing here

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What did Noah name the carpentry supply store he set up in Little Rock?

Ark-n-Saw.

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

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Which beer did the flower drink that made it realize that it was smarter when it was young?

Budweiser

What did the German physicist use to drink his beer?

Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.

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What did Jesus say to Mohammed...?

What did Jesus say to Mohammed 'I died for you' What did Mohammed say in return 'How many did you take with you '

Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle?

Mohammed