Joke of the Day

Why is a racehorse like a letter?

They both begin a trip at the post!

What did the mama buffalo say to her son when he left for college?

Bison"

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

A round of applause ...because they all have the clap.

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

What do Iron man and Sarah Palin have in common?

They both had a little Downey inside of them.

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

How's your visit in North Korea?

A: Can't complain ...

What was the last thing that went through the hostages head?

A bullet.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

What do you call three rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship?

He turns off his Xbox.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Who is the richest painter?

Manet.

What to do if you run over a black man in the rain?

Well, you have an hour before the rain dries...

Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up?

They were just never on the same page...

What do graphic designers smoke up to get high?

Adobe.

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!

What do Asian pirates do?

They fry pranes

How do you get a one armed man off a tree?

You wave to him

Why didn't Johnny go to the 7 A.M. funeral?

Because he just isn't a mourning person.

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

How do you catch a unique lion?

Unique up on him. How do you catch a tame lion? tame way! Zingo!

What's the best part about going to a holocaust museum?

Free fap material

What do you call a heavy punch from Beyonce?

A Sasha Fierce!

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune?

Oh, Plebes.

What is Victoria's Secret?

Her' real name is Victor!

Who came after Augustus?

Septembrus

What do you call a horse that lives next to you?

A Neigh-bor. Sorry for my horrible dad joke.

What do feminists and Redditors have in common?

They both have multiple triggers that will cause them to down vote those who don't think the exact same way as them.

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

Why did the alcoholic chop off the little boy's legs?

He wanted his *Kidneys*.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

It's dangerous to hit a lightbulb with a bat.

Why did the chicken get himself run over by a car?

To get to the "other side".

What's the difference between you and a brick?

Bricks can get laid.

What do you call a Bible for the blind?

The Holy Braille!

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

What's black and dosent work?

Half of London

How did they name Canada?

They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Catholic?

Catholics acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle. Extra: What's the difference between Catholics and Lutherans? Catholics just acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle, Lutherans have a 15 minute conversation about booze.

What is the Hulk's favorite fruit?

Avocado.

Guac Jokes More Guac Jokes

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

if u say its not ok they give it to u for free

When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make?

Guac!

Cottage Cheese Jokes More Cottage Cheese Jokes

What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

Cottage cheese.

What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?

I didn't cottage in my pants

K9 Unit Jokes More K9 Unit Jokes

What do you call the medic in a K9 unit?

A dogtor.

What has four legs and one arm?

A K-9 unit on MLK Boulevard

Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac Jokes More Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.

What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog

East Jokes More East Jokes

What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East?

Happi-ness

Why did all the native people move out East?

Because there is no work out there.

Dna Jokes More Dna Jokes

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

Everyone has the same DNA.

What did the DNA say to the mRNA?

I'm better without U."

Nickel Jokes More Nickel Jokes

Who gave you the nickel?

She said "They all did".

Why did the crowd riot at the Nickelback concert?

Because they didn't get their nickel back.

Ill Eagle Jokes More Ill Eagle Jokes

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

Why is it a bad idea to hunt the US national bird?

It's ill-eagle