Cure Jokes

Why doesn't cancer let anyone in a music store?

It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

How do you cure a headache?

A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

How do you cure depression?

A gun.

What did the apathetic philosopher doctor say?

Who cures?

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!"

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee."

What did the cannibal Doctor do with his patients?

He cured them.

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

What's the one thing make a wish foundation can't give you?

The cure

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon?

The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from .

What did the man in the "Race for a Cure" say to the three people beside him?

we're walking four abreast."

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

Why aren't PhDs real doctors?

Because real doctors have cures.

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.

What do you call an egg that cures cancer?

A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How does a mathematician cure constipation?

How does a mathematician cure her constipation She works it out with a pencil.

How did the Mathematician cure his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

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Sip Jokes More Sip Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He sipped his drink before it was cool

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee."

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What kind of Fuel does the Iron Giant run on?

Vin Diesel!

What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ?

The registration of the car that ran him over !

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night !

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the lazy surgeon say to his patient?

Suture self!

What did the pro bono plastic surgeon say to their patient on Dec 31st?

Happy new ears Eve!

Pane Jokes More Pane Jokes

How do you cure a headache?

A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

What do windows feel when they get hurt?

Pane!

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets?

Felons can't buy guns