Piggy Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

There was a frog in her throat.

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she ends up with a frog in her throat.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat.

Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Why was the centipede late ?

Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

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Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she has a Frog in her throat.

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money?

In the Piggy bank

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What's the name of your former bank?

I said, "Piggy"

How high can Miss Piggy count?

68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat...

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Why are churches never broke?

Because Jesus saves.

Who is saved?

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Whats a statisticians favourite S Club 7 song?

Reach For The **Stats**.

What did the pirate say when he turned 81?

Nothing, as he didn't exist. The probability of anyone in that demographic reaching their eighties is particularly low, and an active pirate being eighty one years of age is further rendered a statistical impossibility given that a pirate would need to be above a certain threshold in terms of physical ability.

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What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?

Kermit the Fog !

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

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What goes 99-clonk 99-clonk 99-clonk ?

A centipede with a wooden leg !

What is worse than an alligator with toothache ?

A centipede with athlete's foot !

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Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

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What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?

Because he was such a sloppy dresser.

Ms. Piggy Jokes More Ms. Piggy Jokes

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics