Blame Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

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Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What's the difference between a burlap sack and my nutsack?

The babies in my nutsack are still living.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag's a big plus

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why did the Mexican civil war last so long?

Because they were fighting Juan on Juan.

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Darkness Jokes More Darkness Jokes

What is the Speed of Darkness?

Batman!

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

George Zimmerman Jokes More George Zimmerman Jokes

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so?

Is he the McRib

Fault Jokes More Fault Jokes

What did the tectonic plate say when it had a collision?

It's not my fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

The Dark Knightrogen

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?

Just don't monkey with him.

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

Whats the German version of silent night?

Kristall nacht