Blame Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why do clumsy people get married?

They fall in love.

What do you get when two Samoans Fall off a couch?

Tufaloffahsofa

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?

Gee, you knit

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does GOP mean?

GOP" is onomatopoeic: it's the sound of anonymous penetration in public bathrooms late at night. -&y

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

What did the ground say to the earthquake?

It's your fault!

Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

Mra Jokes More Mra Jokes

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Tires need changing too you know!

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do Driving Testers and Vegetarians have in common?

They are both very pedantic

What the hell is a steering wheel doing there?

the pirate replies: "Arr, it's been driving me nuts"

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a middle eastern man with a bounty on his head?

A towel head.

What do you call a nosy hot pepper?

Jalapeno business! ha ha.. haha.. ha love this joke (Usually accompanied with three snaps of the fingers in the shape of the letter Z and moving my head from side to side)