Blame Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer?

Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur" I guess it is #rightprivilege

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Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

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George Zimmerman Jokes More George Zimmerman Jokes

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

Why does George Zimmerman keep popping up every 6 months or so?

Is he the McRib

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

How do you make an idiot think he's a duck?

Tell him he's a duck.

Who is that Idiot..?

If Boy is in love - His parent Ask: Idiot, Who is that Girl.. Moral :: No matter who ever is in love... Boys Are Always Idiot :P (LOL)

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

When does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why don't bears wear socks?

They have bear feet

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?

Mat

Fine Jokes More Fine Jokes

Why are they called The Fine Bros?

Because they try to get everyone fined for copyright.

Why is the second traffic citation always easier to read?

Because it's re-fined!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Change it to what

Feminism Jokes More Feminism Jokes

When does feminism end?

When Islam begins.

Whats the opposite of feminism?

Common sense