Bull Jokes

What do you call a guy who stands under a bull?

Understandabull

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What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

What do you call it when the bull impales the bullfighter?

A hole in Juan!

What happens when a bull and a horse go to a bar?

They get BUCKED up!

What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows?

This is a bomb in a bull.

Why did the cow slap the bull?

He didn't play well with udders.

What do you call empathetic bovine?

understand bull

What do bulls do math with?

A cow-culator! (Cue groans)

What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.

What do you call a cow with one udder?

A bull.

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

A: He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

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What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?

A steak-out!

Who's there ! Bull ! Bull who ?

Bull the chain when your done !

What do bulls do for fun?

Play with others.

What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?

A full bull!

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January?

He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey.

How do bulls drive their cars?

They steer them!

Why was the bull popular with all the cows?

Because he was smooooooooth

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

What should you do when a bull charges you?

Pay him

What do you call a matador who lost to the bull?

A mat'o'gore.

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?

The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?

In his beef case!

What did the bull say to the green eyed cow?

I can't get pasteurize.

What would you do if a bull charged you?

Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What does a bull do on a bitter cold winter day?

A: He goes into the barn and slips inside a warm Jersey

What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?

Shipped beef!

What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?

Hamburger!

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

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Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

What did the book say to the librarian?

Can I take you out

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane?

Carrion.

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

A: Get off.

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

Why do they attach chains to their pens?

If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How do you stop a mexican tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

What's your spirit animal?

An eagle. They're so majestic." MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What is the worst that can happen to an atheist caricaturist ?

To die as a martyr.

What happened to the muslim critic?

He blew everything out of proportion!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays

What's the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball

What do jesus and girls have in common?

The expression on their faces when they got nailed.