Canadian Jokes

What's a Canadian's favorite number?

Eight.

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How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do Canadians put on their steaks?

Eh-1 (Sorry)

What's the difference between the Canadian-American border and a performance enhancing drug?

Niagara Falls, Viagra rises.

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down a gig at a local gym?

Because why MC, eh

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What do Canadians say after a prayer in church?

Eh-men

What do you call a Canadian rap group?

Poutine Clan

What's a Canadian's favourite weapon?

An Eh k-47

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

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What did the Canadian Reddit user say?

Ehhhhh lmao

What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing?

Justin Bieber

What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down?

The owner calls Triple Eh.

What is the most popular Canadian poultry restaurant?

Chic-fil, eh

What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian?

As a Canadian, this offends me.

What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

A: Canuck-chucks.

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

more moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!

What did the Canadian say when asked what he thought about stereotypes?

Eh.

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

A: An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away its brooms.

Why shouldn't Canadian adults laugh at children who believe in the Easter Bunny?

Because most of them still believe in Justin Trudeau

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"

What's the shortest possible sentence in Canadian English?

Sorry, eh.

What's the difference between a canoe and a Canadian?

The canoe tips.

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal?

Because 7 8 9 A

Who's sorry now?

First question on Canadian citizenship exam

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb

What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?

A poutine.

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Establish Jokes More Establish Jokes

How many x does it take to change a lightbulb?

f(x), where f(x) = the optimal number of x for establishing a humorous stereotype.

Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian?

As a Canadian, this offends me.

Billboard Jokes More Billboard Jokes

Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?

They can't hide behind billboards.

How do billboards communicate?

Sign language

Term Jokes More Term Jokes

What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely?

Pole Position

What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth?

A midwife crisis.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

How did the 5-year old girl fall off of the tire swing?

Somebody shot her.

American Jokes More American Jokes

How many Americans does it take to change a bulb?

None, Mexicans do it for them.

Why do Americans hate knock knock jokes?

Because Freedom Rings.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between "Fake News" and CNN?

I don't know Reddit, that's why I'm asking you

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay?

He had served his sentence.

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What song was playing at Pulse last Saturday night?

It's Raining Men"

Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...