Graveyard Jokes

How many bones are there in a graveyard?

A skeleTON.

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How do you get honey from a graveyard?

From a zombee! I'll see myself out

Why do you put a fence around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

Why do they put fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in.

What do you call a Graveyard built on sandstone?

A sedimentary.

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all of the coffin.

Why do they build fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in

Why is there a fence around the graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?

Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

What was the name of that hair salon next to the graveyard?

I've got it! It's called "Curl Up and Dye."

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Why do graveyards have fences?

Cause everyone's dying to get in!

Why does the graveyard have fences?

Because people were dying to get in!

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all the coffin.

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How do hair stylists get in shape?

Curling Iron.

Which sport is more lame: frisbee, or curling?

Discus

Zombee Jokes More Zombee Jokes

How do you get honey from a graveyard?

From a zombee! I'll see myself out

Which are the scariest kind of bees?

Zombees

G Jokes More G Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the G.

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

How big do you suppose that fence is?

I reckon that fence is around a yard."

What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?

Pai-Ling

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did the gynecologist giggle during the pap smear?

I don't know. It was an inside joke.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you."

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

Five after one.

Why do I support extreme racist political parties?

Because their aims are white up my street

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you turn fruits into vegetables?

Drive a bus through a pride parade

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?

Ow, this really hertz.