Quack Jokes

What is sticky and quacks?

Duck tape!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do ducks make the best detectives?

They always quack the case

When do you use duct tape on a duck?

When he's quacked.

What has four legs and quacks?

A paradox

What happens when ducks fly upside down??

They quack up

Why did the man throw duck food at Nurse Jackie?

Because she was a quack.

What do ducks get hooked on?

Quack

Why can't ducks tell jokes when they fly?

Cause they would quack up.

Why are ducks funny?

Cause they be quacking jokes

What's so lame about a duck President?

Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!

Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?

Because he kept quacking all the eggs!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head?

Ducks like a quack.

What is a detective duck supposed to do?

Quack the case! I'll show myself out.

What did did the mother duck say to her duckling?

A: "If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."

Why were the ducks arrested?

They were selling quack in the park.

Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ?

Must have been a duck family A duck family Didn't you say there was a quack in it !

What are you on?

I said to him. "Quack" said the duck.

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

What're you here for?

asks the desk lady. "I'm addicted to quack."

Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

You might also enjoy:

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

Why should you slow down to let another car move into your lane?

good karma.

What did Keanu Reeves say to slow down his horse?

Whoa.

Pond Jokes More Pond Jokes

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What are you doing here?

I just got fired from the circus "Oh my" Yeah, the calibration on my cannon was way off. I landed in your pond

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head?

Ducks like a quack.

What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

Henry Jokes More Henry Jokes

What did Alyssa the duck say to Henry the beaver?

Quack quack!

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in (Anne Boyeyn) I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

The car and the bus both have wheels.

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

Addict Jokes More Addict Jokes

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

How can you tell if a post on r/Jokes is unoriginal?

It makes the front page.

What would you call a rock digger's mistake?

A miner infraction! From , posted by