Twin Jokes

What's the best part about dating a twin?

Nobody can judge you on your age difference.

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What did the black intellectual name her twins?

Entendre and....Entendre!

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Where do twin lesbians party?

Klondike Bar

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

What do you call Afghan triplets?

Twins! I am so sorry....

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

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Where do twin lesbians meet up?

A Clone Dyke Bar.

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

What do you call a pair of twins who live together?

Womb-mates"

What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A: A pair of Re-bachs.

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash?

Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery boss?

Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross.

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What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

What do you get when you cross 2 ducks and a match?

Fire Quackers

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What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

Where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife?

The jury store

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What'd you do?

PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.

How to elephants talk to each other ?

By 'elephone !

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What's a feminist's least favorite food?

Gender rolls

What do you call someone that goes down on both genders?

Bilingual.

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Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

What is the difference between a Lannister and a Greek?

A Greek never pays his debts.

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What did the Japanese soda say to Papa John after he crashed his car?

I'm really sodie pop.

How do you get an Asian to crash their car?

Make the windshield full screen

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What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games?

The liver

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

Lanister Jokes More Lanister Jokes

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.