Fire Jokes

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

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What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!

How do you make a fire with two sticks?

A: Make sure one is a match!

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

What you call it?

takes back mixtape* FIRE!

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

What do a hurricane a tornado a fire and a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your house!

What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time?

Shhhhhhh.

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Why was the blonde fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw out all the W's.

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Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?

He was always standing up on the job!

Why did the farmer's house catch on fire?

He left his home on the range.

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

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Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What's a cats favorite Mexican dish?

A purr-rito

How are E.T. and a Mexican immigrant the same?

They both steal your bike.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?

Neither did he.

How do functions Break-Up?

They stop calling each other.

Aim Jokes More Aim Jokes

Why are stormtroopers so bad at aiming?

Because they're playing on console.

Why do I support extreme racist political parties?

Because their aims are white up my street

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why did kurt pull the trigger?

He couldn't get hole out of his head

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

Stain Jokes More Stain Jokes

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

How do I get out this stain?

Fire. How do you fix a car Fire. How do you break up with someone FIRE!

Fire Fighter Jokes More Fire Fighter Jokes

Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend?

Because...bros before hose!

Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire?

Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge Yoda was.

What's a cats favorite song?

3 blind mice

Canon Jokes More Canon Jokes

Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community?

Because it wasn't Canon.

Who's there ! Canon ! Canon who ?

Canon open the door then