Fire Jokes

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!

How do you make a fire with two sticks?

A: Make sure one is a match!

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

What you call it?

takes back mixtape* FIRE!

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

What do a hurricane a tornado a fire and a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your house!

What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time?

Shhhhhhh.

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Why was the blonde fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw out all the W's.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?

He was always standing up on the job!

Why did the farmer's house catch on fire?

He left his home on the range.

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

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Fire Fighter Jokes More Fire Fighter Jokes

Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend?

Because...bros before hose!

Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire?

Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

Which song would an exception sing?

Can't catch me - Avicii

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What happens when a stormtrooper and a redshirt get in a fight?

The stormtrooper misses every shot, but the red shirt still dies.

Why do you fight using only your feet?

Oh, y'know. For kicks.

Canon Jokes More Canon Jokes

Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community?

Because it wasn't Canon.

What do they do when the Queen has a baby?

Fire a 21 gun salute. What do they do when a nun has a baby Fire the dirty old Canon.

21 Jokes More 21 Jokes

How are your step mother and a 17 in the card game 21 similar?

You know you can't but you really want to hit it.

What kind of shampoo do people with Down Syndrome use?

Tresemme 21

Trifle Jokes More Trifle Jokes

What is a rifle with three barrels?

A trifle.

What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once?

A trifle!

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What was Sisyphus's favourite type of music?

Rock 'n' Roll

What's a cardiologist's favourite kind of music?

The step.