Ukraine Jokes

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

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What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

What is Russia's favorite imported product?

Ukraine.

How do you see countries neighboring Russia?

Ukraine your neck.

What did Putin say to the U.S. and E.U. after invading Ukraine?

Crimea river

Why can't you wear shorts in the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout...

What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over?

Cry me a peninsula.

What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading?

Crimea River.

What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

What did Russia say to Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet?

They were Putin up with him.

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What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!"

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

I don't know but they sure are Russian.

What's the #1 song in Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped?

Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!

Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine?

The Crimea River

Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City?

They keep telling me to stop asking...

How do the Russians invade the Ukraine?

They rush in.

Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout

Why should you always wear underwear in Ukraine?

Otherwise Chernobyl Fallout.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

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A So-be-it.

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They really hate Stalin

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We're Finnished."

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The Chargers.

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He'll be Snowden.

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They were afraid of Stalin.

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How do you know Kurt Cobain didn't have dandruff?

A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch.

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If it's waning you'll get weally weally wet.

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Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

What is your favourite type of birthday present?

Another present!

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What do you call a nuclear-powered car?

A mobile-Chernobyl!

Why is it a bad idea to wear tiny shorts on a Ukranian holiday?

Chernobyl fallout.

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Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

Where do you send bad Russian cows?

The Moolag

Crimea Jokes More Crimea Jokes

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right