Violin Jokes

What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?

Viola.

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What do you call a ruckus in a string orchestra?

Violins

What's the difference between a cello and a violin?

A: A cello burns longer.

Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin?

Because it was a kitty fiddler.

Why does Marx's toilet play a sonata when flushed?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

A: It is usually still in the case.

Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

How do depressed people play the violin?

With a razor and their wrist.

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

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What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

A: You get light music.

What sort of violin does a ghost play?

A dreadivarius.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

A: The bow is moving.

Why couldn't they show the orchestra concert on TV?

There was too much sax and violins.

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

What do you call it when one musician abuses another?

An act of violins.

Why should you never hit people with violins?

Because violins is not the answer...

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

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