Attract Jokes

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

How can you attract a group of like minded friends?

This clique bait will shock you!

What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men?

Their ankles!

Why was Betty Boop never attracted to Mickey Mouse?

She's only attracted to colored guys.

Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks?

Because they were Ionic.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!

Why do men like smart women?

A. Opposites attract.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Why do all black people go to heaven?

The Son is attracted to black

How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits?

They were impressive!

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Saudi Arabia Jokes More Saudi Arabia Jokes

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?

How I bought your mother

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

Cashier Jokes More Cashier Jokes

How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you kidding They won't even change a five dollar bill."

How do attractive men pay for things?

They handsome money to the cashier

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?

Church " "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers

How many people work in the Lada factory?

Two. One to cut and one to glue

Skeleton Jokes More Skeleton Jokes

How do skeletons kiss?

They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

Why did the skeleton leave the party?

Because everyone was calling him a bone-head. (I was 6 when I came up with that).

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

Why do white girls always walk around in groups of 3?

Because they can't even!

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

How many eggs does a Frenchman need?

One, because that's an Oeuf.

What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

A: Inflate it.

Why did the green bean go to jail?

He was disturbing the peas.