Attract Jokes

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How can you attract a group of like minded friends?

This clique bait will shock you!

What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men?

Their ankles!

Why was Betty Boop never attracted to Mickey Mouse?

She's only attracted to colored guys.

Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks?

Because they were Ionic.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!

Why do men like smart women?

A. Opposites attract.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Why do all black people go to heaven?

The Son is attracted to black

How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits?

They were impressive!

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Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

What are you called if you are paid to be a thing?

A pro-noun!

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What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia?

Haram bae

What does a man call a gorilla he loves?

Haram Bae

Skeleton Jokes More Skeleton Jokes

Why did the skeleton not attend prom?

He had no body to go with.

What instrument do skeletons play?

A trombone!

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How do you hide a elephant in a cherry tree?

Paint it's balls red. Howed Tarzan die Picking cherries.

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why would you take a hammer to bed?

A: So you could hit the sack.

What is red and hangs around trees?

A baby hit by a snow blower

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Philippe Philoppe.

What is the life motto of a Frenchman?

No gain no pain.

Ankle Jokes More Ankle Jokes

What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle?

Wok it off! Wok it off!

Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?

Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck.

Original Joke Jokes More Original Joke Jokes

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

Whats the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I dunno, i just click submit