Boil Jokes

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

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What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun?

Because they're not real.

What was said the boiled waters funeral?

You will be mist.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!

What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar?

Log jam.

Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?

Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

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Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole at Easter?

Hot Cross Bunnies!

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

What are you having?

First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

What on Earth happened?

The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.

Why do Americans drink their tea cold?

Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?

You can't mash Frankenstein.

What is hail ?

Hard boiled rain !

What is hail?

A: Hard-boiled rain.

Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta?

When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt.

If you boil a clown...

Do you get a laughing stock?

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

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Holy Water Jokes More Holy Water Jokes

What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water?

A religious movement.

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

Tauntaun Jokes More Tauntaun Jokes

What's the core body temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke Warm

What's the internal body temperature of a tauntaun?

Luke warm.

Tea Bag Jokes More Tea Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a tea bag and a used tampon?

What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!

What's the different between England and a tea bag?

A tea bag last longer in the cup

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do you call a fruit that is a vegetable?

A crippled homo.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

What's an Irish seven-course meal?

A six-pack and a potato

How did you find your steak sir?

Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!

Float Jokes More Float Jokes

What happened when Billy Mays's ghost floated into the rave?

Everyone started partying like it was $19.99.

What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together?

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other unemployed cancer cell?

Let's get Jobs. Found in the comments of a post by

How do you find a dead body?

Download Pokemon GO.

Gamer Jokes More Gamer Jokes

What is it called when a gamer fights someone?

An Asthma attack.

Why did the gamer and mathematician cross the road?

To get to 10.