Because he was a bear a-singing. ..... I am at Disney with the kids this week...
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant
Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.
Their kids would be too lazy to steal.
I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.
Molestation.
Arrr son!
He wanted to be cool.
Bison
You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"
Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes
Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!
Moo. As told by my kid this morning.
Sounds like he had already done the... time
Cancer.
Racist
A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!! XD
2nd base.
Michael Jackson
Are you kidding They won't even change a five dollar bill."
Let's go ride bikes!
Because it was rated arrr!
To get to the other slide.
So time would fly.
Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
Decomposing.
Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether
Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot.
Because it was two-tired.
Because he hasn't got a chair!..... sorry.
Ello, 'ello, 'ello!
This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!
Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"
Under his buccan-hat.
All he could handle was the microwave
Depends
Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child
How else would they know how many cans are in a 12 pack.
A man laughing his head off.
Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.