Milk Jokes

What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

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What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?

A cow that can milk itself !

What's the difference between Nine-Eleven and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight. Be gentle... it's my cake day :-)

What aisle has the milk?

Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "

What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink?

Where do Russians get their milk from?

From moscow

What type of milk is swiss cheese made of?

Whole milk.

What kind of scary bees can produce milk?

boo bees

What do you call a tired cow?

Milked out!

What's the easiest way to condense milk?

Mlk

What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?

You can't milk a cow for 2000 years

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Why cant people with no feet drink milk?

Because they are lack toes intolorent.

Why are there commercials for milk?

Who still doesn't know about milk

What gives milk and has a horn?

A milk tank!

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?

A cow can't be milked for 70 years.

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

How do you get milk from a witch's cat?

Steal her saucer.

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !

What does America and my Milk have in common?

Both will go bad in 9 days.

What do you get from a forgetful cow?

Milk of amnesia!

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

How can you tell when your drowning in milk?

When it gets pasteurise.

Why don't cows ever have any money?

Because the farmers milk them dry!

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

What's the difference between America and yogurt?

One has culture.

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What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!

What's the favorite dairy product of Wall Street executives?

1% milk

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Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What do you call it when a group of chickens rebel against their farmers?

Coop d'etah

What do you call a farmer who's excellent at what he does?

Outstanding in his field

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What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray."

Why is it a tragedy?

Because a Cadillac sits six.

Produce Jokes More Produce Jokes

What do you call it when the only cow on your dairy farm won't produce milk?

Utter despair.

What do you call a factory that produces quality goods?

A satisfactory

Culture Jokes More Culture Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture

What did the SJW say to the man who appropriated culture?

That's inappropriate.

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How does clickbait work?

Just grab this electrical cable. Then what happens WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!!!!!

How do you stop a ginger from drowning?

You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.