Chew Jokes

How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to chew?

The wheelchair

What did Bea Arthur whisper in her lover's ear?

An elaborate fantasy in which she is in prison and tries to escape by chewing through the bars of her cell.

What did the cow say to the hay?

I chews you

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

How do scientists develop chewing gum flavors?

Through ex-spear-i-mints.

What's pink and slowly turns red?

A baby chewing on a razor blade.

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What do bees chew?

Bumble gum.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause I stepped on it.

Why do worms taste like chewing gum ?

Because they're wrigleys !

What happened to the Polish dog?

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.

Why do cowboys have foreskin?

So they have a place to put there chewing tobacco when brushing their teeth

What do you call gummy semites?

Chews!

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?

I must throw that doggie out the window !"!

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

How does a train eat?

It goes chew, chew

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How high can you kick a baby?

It depends. Are you inside or outside?

What's worse than having 10 babies nailed to a tree?

One baby nailed to 10 trees...

Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea

How did the tiger escape from the zoo without being spotted?

Tigers have stripes.

Bee Jokes More Bee Jokes

Where does Noah store his bees?

The ark-hives.

Why do bees hum?

Because they can't remember the lyrics

Easy Way Jokes More Easy Way Jokes

What's the easiest way to get a little head?

The Zika virus.

What's the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money?

Collect unemployment insurance!

Chew Chew Train Jokes More Chew Chew Train Jokes

What is a collie puppy's favorite toy?

A chew-chew train!

What do you call a train that has a tobacco addiction?

A chew-chew train.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.