Chew Jokes

How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

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What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to chew?

The wheelchair

What did Bea Arthur whisper in her lover's ear?

An elaborate fantasy in which she is in prison and tries to escape by chewing through the bars of her cell.

What did the cow say to the hay?

I chews you

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

How do scientists develop chewing gum flavors?

Through ex-spear-i-mints.

What's pink and slowly turns red?

A baby chewing on a razor blade.

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

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Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What do bees chew?

Bumble gum.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause I stepped on it.

Why do worms taste like chewing gum ?

Because they're wrigleys !

What happened to the Polish dog?

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.

Why do cowboys have foreskin?

So they have a place to put there chewing tobacco when brushing their teeth

What do you call gummy semites?

Chews!

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?

I must throw that doggie out the window !"!

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

How does a train eat?

It goes chew, chew

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Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What is it called when a cow is unwillingly milked?

Moo**lestation

How do cows do math?

A cow-culator. haha haha ha ... ok, I'll leave.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with Vegetables?

Mrs Hawking

What do you call a fruit that is a vegetable?

A crippled homo.

Chew Chew Train Jokes More Chew Chew Train Jokes

What is a collie puppy's favorite toy?

A chew-chew train!

What do you call a train that has a tobacco addiction?

A chew-chew train.

Easy Way Jokes More Easy Way Jokes

What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

Brush their teeth!

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why are babies always gurgling with joy?

Because it's a nappy time.

What's red and silver and bumps in to walls?

A baby with forks in it's eyes.

Pervert Jokes More Pervert Jokes

What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out?

A piece of gum, you pervert!

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out.

Chew Gum Jokes More Chew Gum Jokes

Why do worms taste like chewing gum ?

Because they're wrigleys !

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

What has teeth but no mouth?

A comb or a saw.