Cracker Jokes

Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him?

Polly want a Cracker.

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Why do white people hate being called crackers?

Because they find it insaltine.

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS! ...Polly want a cracker.

What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?

Cracka-lackin

What seemed to be the parrots problem?

Prolly wanted a cracker!

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese.

Why shouldn't white people swim?

Crackers get soggy when wet.

What places have the least racial tensions?

Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

What do you call an elevator full of white people?

A box of crackers.

What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked?

Cracker.

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Why don't parrot's like black people?

Because Polly wants a cracker.

Why do so many white people do meth?

Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*

Why do famous and rich black people stay at the Ritz?

Because they are sold out to crackers!

What did the rich socialite's parrot say?

Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

Who ate all the crackers?

racist cannibal.

What's one cracker plus two crackers. 257 Calories(http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?

i=What%27s+one+cracker+plus+two+crackers%3F)

What did one cracker say to the other?

Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?

Because he went crackers.

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

because polly wanted a cracker

What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

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White People Jokes More White People Jokes

What's the difference between yogurt and white people?

If left out for 4,000 years, yogurt will develop culture.

How many white people does it take to replace a light bulb?

One to hold the bulb, and the rest to screw the whole world.

Ritz Jokes More Ritz Jokes

What is the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?

A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

How are music and candy similar?

We throw away the rappers.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing?

You can say sorry at a funeral.

What is the difference between Ellen Pao her brain and Aids?

Aids develops itself

Intimidate Jokes More Intimidate Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach?

Cheez It!

Snack Cracker Jokes More Snack Cracker Jokes

What is the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?

A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?

Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker.