Cracker Jokes

Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him?

Polly want a Cracker.

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Why do white people hate being called crackers?

Because they find it insaltine.

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS! ...Polly want a cracker.

What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?

Cracka-lackin

What seemed to be the parrots problem?

Prolly wanted a cracker!

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese.

Why shouldn't white people swim?

Crackers get soggy when wet.

What places have the least racial tensions?

Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

What do you call an elevator full of white people?

A box of crackers.

What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked?

Cracker.

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Why don't parrot's like black people?

Because Polly wants a cracker.

Why do so many white people do meth?

Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*

Why do famous and rich black people stay at the Ritz?

Because they are sold out to crackers!

What did the rich socialite's parrot say?

Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

Who ate all the crackers?

racist cannibal.

What's one cracker plus two crackers. 257 Calories(http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?

i=What%27s+one+cracker+plus+two+crackers%3F)

What did one cracker say to the other?

Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?

Because he went crackers.

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

because polly wanted a cracker

What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

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What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach?

Cheez It!

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a feminist and a machist?

The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

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Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?

Cause he wanted to get along little doggie.

How many times does 1 go into 0?

As Many Times As It Wants!

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What did the tooth say to the dentist?

Fill 'er up!"

Why would an alien ever visit Roswell?

Fill in the blank or answer the question.

Ritz Jokes More Ritz Jokes

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

Whats the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?

Ones a snack cracker and ones a crack snacker!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How does Jack Frost get to work?

By icicles

How can working with cow hide act in your favor on a first date?

As if she's going to lay there and be swayed by some new buck.

John Jokes More John Jokes

What do Atilla the Hun and John the Baptist have in common?

Their middle name.

What's pink and sits on a piano chair?

Elton's John