Thank Jokes

What did the redneck say when he lost his virginity?

Thanks mum xD

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

Why can't priests have children?

Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

What is a pirates least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day.

How do you starve a Socialist?

You hide their food stamps under their work boots. Edit Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!

Why thank you... are you single?

Girl: No, I am a dentist.

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you show your appreciation towards black holes?

Thanks for nothing!

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.

What's the difference between reddit gold and the Greek drachma?

People usually thank you for giving them reddit gold.

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

They both slowly remove clogs. I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original. Thanks for the gold !

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter.

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

You might also enjoy:

E.T. Jokes More E.T. Jokes

Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?

He saw the phone bill.

What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?

What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN Saddest joke ever.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How are relationships like algebra?

You look at your X and try to find out Y

Why did the clown cross the road?

A: To find his rubber chicken.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy?

Edit: Whoops wrong sub.

Why do Chinese only care about themselves?

Because they have no i's (plural of i). Edit: eyes. Eyes guys. It's a bad pun.

Cricket Jokes More Cricket Jokes

What do amputees and cricket have in common?

Stumps

What animal is always at a game of cricket?

A bat.

Ellen Jokes More Ellen Jokes

What is Ellen's favourite food?

Kung-Pao Chicken.

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game?

He got suspended.

What was Jesus never thankful for?

Fridays.

E.T. Mother Jokes More E.T. Mother Jokes

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been??!!" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!

What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?

What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN Saddest joke ever.