Thank Jokes

What did the redneck say when he lost his virginity?

Thanks mum xD

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

Why can't priests have children?

Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

What is a pirates least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day.

How do you starve a Socialist?

You hide their food stamps under their work boots. Edit Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!

Why thank you... are you single?

Girl: No, I am a dentist.

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you show your appreciation towards black holes?

Thanks for nothing!

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.

What's the difference between reddit gold and the Greek drachma?

People usually thank you for giving them reddit gold.

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

They both slowly remove clogs. I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original. Thanks for the gold !

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter.

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

You might also enjoy:

Alabama Jokes More Alabama Jokes

How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam"

Walnut Jokes More Walnut Jokes

What do you call balls on the wall?

Walnuts. What do you call balls on a chest Chestnuts. What do you call balls on a chin My throne

What's the difference between a chick pea and a walnut?

I've never had a walnut on my face.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over?

HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES

Hungarian Jokes More Hungarian Jokes

What do you get when you burn a Hungarian ghost?

Ghoul-ash!

What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone?

A Buddha-pest.

Grace Jokes More Grace Jokes

Why is Grace never thirsty?

Because she's always drinking from the coup de Grace. (This was my sister's favourite joke when we were kids. Once our mum flipped out on a long car journey because she told it too many times).

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme. Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

How did worchestershire sauce get it's name?

Someone gave some to a cajun and he said "whus dis here sauce"

Ellen Jokes More Ellen Jokes

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

What is Ellen's favourite food?

Kung-Pao Chicken.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

Where did that offensive joke post go?

I'm pretty sure I saved it to make reference to eventually and now I cannot find it. There was some gold in there.

What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics?

Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell