Wipe Jokes

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?

They wipe, flush, and wash their hands

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

a soviet

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

What's the best way to wipe a computer server?

A cloth.

What do the U.S.S. Enterprise and Toilet Paper have in common?

They both wipe out Klingons.

What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend?

She wiped her arse.

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad?

Wipe away those ears.

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

What hand do you wipe with?

Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

You might also enjoy:

Henry Viii Jokes More Henry Viii Jokes

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ?

She was trying to get ahead !

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories?

Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy.

Why do Russian cars have such a bad rep?

Because they're always Stalin.

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?

So you're the one.... (only if you answered "i don't know")

What's the difference between a hand towel and toilet paper?

What " "You aren't coming to my house"

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store?

Hello, ladies"

Screen Jokes More Screen Jokes

How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch?

The screen stays black when you check the time.

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

What do you think about the Russian military intervention in Krimea?

I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.

Why did the Soviets pull their missiles out?

Because they feared a premature ejectulation

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

Klingon Jokes More Klingon Jokes

Why are aliens bad at high-fives?

Because they always klingon!

What is another term for ob gyn?

A Klingon! since obstetrician gynaecologist is too long, and OB GYN doesn't make sense ,lets call them Klingons