America Jokes

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?

Because in America, freedom rings.

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What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america?

Because that would be illeagle

What will the presidential candidate for the next election choose as his/her campaign motto?

Make America good again."

What do Mexicans say on their first day in America?

Jose can you see, by the dawn's early light...

Who says time travel doesn't exist and we can't go back in time?

America just did.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

What's the difference between america and a yoghurt?

A yoghurt develops a culture After sitting there for 100 years.

Who do you save?

America. Keep right on going and don't stop.

What do you call an intelligent man in America?

A tourist.

What's the difference between America and Europe?

In America, we call our inbred hillbillies. In Europe, they call them royals.

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What was the anti-aging makeup company's slogan?

Make America 8 again

Why doesn't America like knock knock jokes?

Because freedom rings.

Why Can't America tell knock knock jokes?

Cause' freedom RINGS!

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

What did one turnip say to the other?

We're white and bulbous, just like America

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges?

As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange.

Why are high end clocks designed and made in Switzerland?

As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!

Why couldn't Shah Rukh Khan enter America?

Because he wasn't an Amirkhan

What does America and my Milk have in common?

Both will go bad in 9 days.

Why do pill bottles have cotton in them?

To remind blacks in America that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Why is there a 100,000 oil limit in World of Warcraft Garrisons?

Because anything more than that might cause an invasion by the United States of America!

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

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What is Captain America's shield made of?

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Why do New Yorkers like to visit Minnesota?

Because that's where the mini apple is!

Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team?

So that Minnesota does not get jealous.

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Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?

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What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

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Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

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Which is the only bank that drug tests all of its employees?

PNC

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

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What will you be having to drink?

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What will you be drinking?

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