Build Jokes

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

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What do angry beavers build?

DAMNITS!

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Why did the console peasant cross the street?

To render the building on the other side!

What do you call a building you can't locate?

A warehouse

When does a black person goes to school?

When it's being built!

What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building?

C4 yourself!

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What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

Why did the bees build the hive?

It's in their beehavior.

What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News?

We're going to build a wall"

What do people in florida do when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

Why do people keep building so many new mausoleums?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

Three brunettes trying to burn it down.

Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

Why did you burn that building down?

Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

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4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music?

Mount Rushmore

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?

A pizza can feed a family of 4 (I'm black so I can say this)

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Who else does this?

1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money

What's the difference between an airplane bathroom and your mom?

Your mom can fit 3 people inside her comfortably!

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why did God make pubic hair curly?

So we don't poke our eyes out.

What is so ironic about Atheists?

A: they're always talking about God.

Civil Engineer Jokes More Civil Engineer Jokes

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

Orlando Bloom Jokes More Orlando Bloom Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Whats the best thing Orlando Bloom's ever been in?

Katy Perry

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?

He had no body to go with !

Why did the skeleton not attend prom?

He had no body to go with.

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

How do black people get to Hogwarts ?

They go through wall 9 3/5

What's black on the outside, green on the inside and can go through walls?

Ghost avocado.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do you call someone who supports Hillary?

Paid off.

What's the difference a kidney bean and a chickpea?

I've never paid $200 to have a kidney bean in my mouth.