Summer Jokes

What's a hipsters favorite season?

Summer, they like it before it's cool

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a 3 legged cow named Summer in the winter?

Summer...Her name's summer.

Where did the cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar Mellencamp

How does ISIS cool down in the summer time?

In a blow up pool

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer?

To make it Fall.

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

Why did the hipster where a toque in the summer?

So he could say he wore it before it was cool.

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call an orange cat in summer?

Shedder Cheese!

Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

What did the bear do to be labeled a hipster?

He hibernated in the summer.

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

Where do kids with ADHD go for the summer?

Concentration camp.

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle"

What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer?

Woofleball

How does a detective stay cool in hot summer?

He works on a cold case.

Why did the German boy go to Summer camp?

I don't know he did notsay!

Where do pirates go in the summer?

In ARRgentina.

What was the almond tree doing all damn summer long?

Nuttin'

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue."

What are the hottest days during summer?

Sun-days

Why does Drake hate summer?

Because you start wearing less and going out more

Where do admins go for summer break?

Banned camp.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

Where did the ADHD kid spend his summer?

Dark) At a concentration camp.

Why do mathematicians think that spring is summer?

It's not their fault. May tricks them.

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

What do triangles do in the summer?

They tan.

What dance do you do when summer is over?

Tango (tan go).

What did the bee to the other bee in summer ?

Swarm here isn't it !

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

Why was the hipster wearing a scarf during the summer?

He liked wearing scarves before it got cool.

You might also enjoy:

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat?

He didn't get a good knight's leap. Wakka wakka!

Knight Jokes More Knight Jokes

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

There were many knights.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

Why does Santa have 3 houses?

One for each of his hoes.

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

How do you drown a hipster?

In the mainstream

Why did the hipster where a toque in the summer?

So he could say he wore it before it was cool.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

How did Isis move from 5th wanted terrorist group to the most wanted terrorist group?

They cut a head

Whats the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.

Suggest Jokes More Suggest Jokes

What are the level differences between nannies?

Answer: the A level nannies suggest leafy vegetables... But the B nannies force kale.

What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

3 Legged Cow Jokes More 3 Legged Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow that's missing a leg?

A 3 legged cow

What do you call a 3 legged cow named Summer in the winter?

Summer...Her name's summer.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.