Summer Jokes

What's a hipsters favorite season?

Summer, they like it before it's cool

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What do you call a 3 legged cow named Summer in the winter?

Summer...Her name's summer.

Where did the cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar Mellencamp

How does ISIS cool down in the summer time?

In a blow up pool

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer?

To make it Fall.

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

Why did the hipster where a toque in the summer?

So he could say he wore it before it was cool.

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

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What do you call an orange cat in summer?

Shedder Cheese!

Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

What did the bear do to be labeled a hipster?

He hibernated in the summer.

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

Where do kids with ADHD go for the summer?

Concentration camp.

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle"

What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer?

Woofleball

How does a detective stay cool in hot summer?

He works on a cold case.

Why did the German boy go to Summer camp?

I don't know he did notsay!

Where do pirates go in the summer?

In ARRgentina.

What was the almond tree doing all damn summer long?

Nuttin'

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue."

What are the hottest days during summer?

Sun-days

Why does Drake hate summer?

Because you start wearing less and going out more

Where do admins go for summer break?

Banned camp.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

Where did the ADHD kid spend his summer?

Dark) At a concentration camp.

Why do mathematicians think that spring is summer?

It's not their fault. May tricks them.

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

What do triangles do in the summer?

They tan.

What dance do you do when summer is over?

Tango (tan go).

What did the bee to the other bee in summer ?

Swarm here isn't it !

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

Why was the hipster wearing a scarf during the summer?

He liked wearing scarves before it got cool.

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Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

What does a cow say in the winter?

I'm udderly freezing!

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

What do you call a person that worships NASCAR?

A racist!

Knight Jokes More Knight Jokes

Why did the horse miss the joust?

He had the knight off!

Which knight of the round table had Diabetes?

Sir Lance-a-lot

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

What was the #1 summer blockbuster, according to Cat Fancy magazine?

Mad Manx: Furry Road

What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?

a surprisingly stable person according to my Homie O'Statis.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why did the woman sky-diver wear a jock strap?

So she didn't whistle on the way down.

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?

To keep here legs closed.

Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

What do you call a company that makes Mexicans?

A MexiCo.

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why should you never run in front of a bus?

You will get tired.

What's the difference between a basketball player and a mexican?

Nothing, they both run, jump, shoot and steal.

Usa Jokes More Usa Jokes

Why is the time in the USA behind that of England ?

Because England was discovered before the USA !

What was the precursor to USB?

USA