Dream Jokes

Why don't black people dream?

The last black man to have a dream got shot.

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Why do all black men have nightmares?

The one with a dream was shot.

Who is Superman's brother?

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

Why do black people have nightmares?

Because one had a dream and died

What's the difference between dreams and memes?

I haven't given up on my memes yet

What do you call a dream about soda?

a fanta sea

What is the favorite Christmas Carol of the Aryan brotherhood?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

What do Palestinian children dream of becoming when they grow up?

Old

What is it called when you dream in color?

A chromatose

What is the worst part about going to Auschwitz?

Your dreams are not the only thing going up in smokes.

What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

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Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we

What are you planning on doing on MLK day?

Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why Her: I want to have dreams too

Why don't black people sleep?

Because the only one that had a dream was shot.

Why are all black people scared of sleeping?

Cause one had a dream, and he died.

What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?

They lived hoppily ever after!

Who, me?

Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.

What kind of dreams do dustmites have?

Mitemares

What do you call it when you dream about getting married?

Bed wedding.

What do men dream of?

Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Why was the man at the cookout so happy?

He met the grill of his dreams.

What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

How do you make a Whiskey Sour?

Crush it's hopes and dreams.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low?

A: She thought it was Diet Coke.

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters

How did the cynic die?

He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

If it's their lightbulb, none of your damn business.

How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM

Nightmare Jokes More Nightmare Jokes

Why do black people only ever have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot.

What's a mathematicians worst nightmare?

An EULer spill

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What song does a car radio play?

A cartoon (car tune).

What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?

A song called "My Corona"

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them

What's a man?

Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally , cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When was the last time you flossed?

Me: "BRO, you were there."

What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone didn't pull it out in time.

Cheap Trick Jokes More Cheap Trick Jokes

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.