After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
He tractor!
Slow down and use some lube
Pickup lines
Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend
Both equally inefficient at letting me know when they are actually ready.
One. Apparently she will screw anything.
Your plaice or mine' !
William Shat-on-her
Her miscarriage. sorry.
Slow the pace and apply more lube!
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
He lost interest.
A Feyonce
On the front page of reddit.
IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"
It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!
I love you, boo!!
She didn't suit his taste!
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
Beef Stroken off
Homeless
With arroz.
Its ok, we can still be cousins."
Her miscarriage
Old Bae
I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.
I reply "Taxes."
When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.
He gave her a ring.
She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.
Maple flakes From my well intentioned girlfriend
The government worker says: "That's mollasified."
Because doing so would be incense-itive!
Nothing. He just laughed.
When you run over a dog you don't have to go back and get the GoPro.
because the owner will tell you
Because nobody is looking for them.
He looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Only two more sleeps till Christmas!
There's lots of hogsgobblin.
They love to swim in gold coins.
Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas.
Strap a steak to the ceiling
Glue a sandwich on the ceiling.
On foot, how else? JK Rowling
I see my ex came by."
