Run Jokes

Why did the chicken cross my wife?

Because I ran her over in the street.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Whats the problem with running through a field of dead babies?

Your erection....

What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!

What if I color on you?

What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog

How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?

Only one if you run him through slowly!

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

What happened after the word bank was robbed?

There was a run on sentences.

Why did the rooster run away ?

He was chicken !

What did the dog take when he was run down?

The license number of the car that hit him.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

What colour T-shirt would win a race?

Red, because it runs the most.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?

Hamburger!

What is the ardent task of searching for a new wallpaper called?

Running a Backgroud Check.

Why can every black person run so fast?

Because the slow ones are in jail.

What does the Doctor use to keep things running smoothly in the T.A.R.D.I.S?

WD-4D

Where do terrorists go when they're on the run?

Apparently, they go everywhere.

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

What does a musician train do when running from the law?

Covers tracks

What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink?

I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW

Why did the dog run in circles?

He was a watchdog and needed winding.

Why do dogs run in circles?

Because it's harder to run in squares.

Why was the baseball player arrested?

He was involved in a hit-and-run.

What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on?

The barber ran

What did the chopped wood say to the tree?

Run!

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

When do doctors get angry?

When they run out of patients.

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

Why was Cinderalla thrown out of the football team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

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Hellen Keller Jokes More Hellen Keller Jokes

Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read?

The braille left her lips numb.

How do you get even with Hellen Keller?

Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller Leave the plunger in the toilet

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What did the politicians say after taking a huge bong hit?

What's Allepo "

What's the difference between a church bell &amp a politician?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

Baptist Jokes More Baptist Jokes

Why should you always invite more than one Baptist on a fishing trip?

Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

Stumble Jokes More Stumble Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Exhaust Jokes More Exhaust Jokes

Why should you never run behind a bus?

You will get exhausted.

What happened to the man running in front of the car?

He got tired. What happened to the man running behind the car He got exhausted.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

How much alcohol does it take to get a black person drunk?

About three fifths.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do people who drink milk struggle to walk?

Because they lactose.

What do The Walking Dead and the Fast and Furious series have in common?

They both have dead walkers.

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

A: They are both up to something.

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less then his wife.