Fisherman Jokes

Why did the fisherman head out during a storm?

For the halibut

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What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

Whats does a fisherman and a teen have in common?

They both fiddle with a rod

What did the fisherman and his girlfriend do last night?

Net fish and krill

What did the fisherman do when he really liked a woman?

He invited her over to net fish and krill.

Why are fishermen so good at geometry?

Cause they're good anglers.

Why did the fisherman decide to go fishing?

For the halibut.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the fisherwoman?

Your place or mine

What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?

His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!

Why was the fisherman wealthy and prosperous?

Because he was a master-baiter.

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Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?

Just for the halibut.

Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman?

He had allure.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?

One but you should have seen the bulb it must have been THIS big.

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

Why did the fishermen buy a new pole?

Just for the halibut.

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?

A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

When does a fisherman offend you the most?

When he's completely out of line

Why did the fisherman keep taking off?

Because he was fly fishing.

What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What do fishermen do at a their conferences?

Network.

What did the fisherman do on his date?

Netfish and krill

What do you call the fisherman that's always handling the pole while fishing?

The Master Baiter.

What do you call a fishermans newborn?

Fresh bait

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?

One baits his hook the other hates his book.

Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth?

He didn't have a Gar

What did the caught fish say to the fisherman in the net?

Well man it's been reel.

What do fishermen say on Halloween?

Trick-or-trout!"

Why did everyone love the fisherman?

He was a real catch

What kind of money do fishermen make ?

Net profits !

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What do you call a fish in a hurry?

Salman Rushdie.

Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?

A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

Why are Canadians atheist?

Because they are Eh-theists.

How can you tell if a Canadian is an existentialist?

Instead of saying "I'm an existentialist, eh." They will say "I'm an existentialist, ... be."

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why can't some people help being born Chinese?

Because there's nothing wong with it.

What's a Cholo's favorite Chinese food dish?

Chicken chow meng.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?

One good turn deserves another.

What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

A girl scout that got hit by a car.

Hunter Jokes More Hunter Jokes

Why do hunters close one eye before shooting?

Because if they close the other, they can't see!

What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter?

Camenbert

Aboot Jokes More Aboot Jokes

How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day?

Aboot this big"

Why do Canadians say aboot?

Because there is too much snow to wear shoes.

Hollywood Jokes More Hollywood Jokes

Which director is Hollywood's darling?

Michael Bae

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.