Snail Jokes

What do you call a snail on a sail boat?

A snailor

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What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What do you call a shipping crate full of snails?

Escargot.

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

What did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

What do you call a Muslim slug?

A snail...

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Why arent there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones Locker?

Dead men sell no snails!

What did one snail say to the other snail?

It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast

What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle?

Weeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

A: Wheeee!

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What happens when two snails fight?

A: They slug it out.

Why did the snail cross the road ?

It is not clear yet , let it cross the road first. Update : It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

What did the slug say to the snail?

Would you like a copy of the big issue

What is stronger an elephant or a snail ?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk !

What did one snail say to the other?

Nothing. They were both decoys.

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'll see myself out.

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know but it would slow him down.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail polish.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

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Shell Jokes More Shell Jokes

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

Why did the duck get kicked out of church?

Because he was using fowl language!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why are women so bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

How many times can look at the sun with a telescope?

You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

Why couldn't the retarded man talk normally?

He was trying to hold the door

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

How do you get an elephant across a busy freeway?

take the 'f' out of free and the 'f' out of way...

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

Why do Lannisters hate turtles?

Cause they can't stab them in the back

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

How do you get a black man to stop jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What is the best part of Pokemon Go?

I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.

Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike?

Because it's probably your bike