Duck Jokes

Why does duck taste better than turkey?

Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.

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How many ducks would there be if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks two ducks between two ducks and two ducks behind two ducks?

Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.

What did the parrot say when he saw a duck?

Polly want a quacker!

How does a duck pay for lipstick?

She puts it on her bill

What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

What is Iraq's national bird?

A: Duck.

What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

What is the difference between a dancer and a duck?

One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.

What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck?

A firequacker.

Why couldn't the duck stop smoking?

Because he was a quack addict

Why were the ducks arrested?

They were selling quack in the park.

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Why did the duck leave his flock?

Because he wanted to be a-loone.

Why don't ducks have teeth?

Too much quack.

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?

He wanted to have webbed feet.

Which duck will destroy the establishment?

None, ducks are not allowed in politics.

What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?

Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.

What do you call a duck that does drugs?

A quack head!

Why do ducks have webbed feet ?

To stamp out forest fires !

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

What did the duck say to the policeman?

Quack

What are you on?

I said to him. "Quack" said the duck.

What kind of drugs do ducks take?

The snort quack.

Why doesn't a duck wear underwear?

Because their pecker's on their face.

This joke may have profanity.

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

What do you call a part gopher, part duck, and part you?

A Gophuckyourself.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?

A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

What did the duck say to the avacado?

guac guac

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill

What do you call a duck that gets all A's?

A wise quacker.

Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

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Turkey.

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

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What's the worst part about 4 black guys driving off a cliff in an escalade?

They were my friends. :(

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?

It has 4 rabbits' feet.

Mask Jokes More Mask Jokes

What is yellow and wears a mask?

A: The Lone Lemon.

What did the cow say to the masked robber?

A: Moo.

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What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?

A: Senator.

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common?

People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it.

What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it?

Who are these iron-mouthed warriors

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

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What do books wear on a rainy day?

Rain Quotes

Who, me?

Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.

Row Jokes More Row Jokes

What do you call two rows of cabbages ?

A dual cabbageway !

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.