Ride Jokes

What do little sisters ride?

A Nii-san

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What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

What do methheads and Mormons have in common?

They both ride bikes and go on missions.

Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents?

Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground!

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What's the difference between my bike and your mom?

Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.

Why did the chicken cross the rode?

To get to the other side.

What do ghosts like about riding horses?

Ghoulloping.

What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards?

Lawrence of Dublin.

What did the boots say to the cowboy?

You ride -- I'll go on foot.

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What type of train can a ginger not ride?

A soul train

What do you call a parsnip riding a dragon?

A parsnip.

What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common?

Both ride bicycles and are on a mission.

Why couldn't Tommy ride a bicycle?

A: Because he was a gold fish.

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

Why did the cowboy ride his horse?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

Who Conquers All obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.

What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Lets go ride a bike!

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!

What do Terrorist Witches ride?

Boomsticks

What does a Japanese girl ride?

Niisan.

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

What elephant and a canary and in common?

They both can't ride bicycles.

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?

Bronchitis (bronc-itis).

What is a Siths favorite thing to ride in?

An elevader.

What do you say to someone riding a stoned horse?

Get off your high horse.

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

What do stoners ride to school?

The cannibus

What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike?

Attire

What is the definition of "derange"?

De place where de cowboys ride!

What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance?

Goose Rider

What does a snail riding on a turtles back say?

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.

Why is the ocean always wet?

Because wherever she is, she's always getting rode.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike?

Because it's probably your bike

What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?

You can't ride your bike on a sociopath

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lets go ride our bikes

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Unicycle Jokes More Unicycle Jokes

What's the difference between a formally-dressed man riding a unicycle and a casually-dressed man riding a bicycle?

Attire.

What is the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a dully dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?

The road.

Why didn't the bicycle cross the road?

he was two-tired...

Cousin Jokes More Cousin Jokes

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

What's faster than a black man running with a tv?

His cousin with the DVD player

Texan Jokes More Texan Jokes

What do you call a showoff Texan?

tatious.

Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan?

Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them.

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash?

A: She's the one on her bike.

Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

What did the shirt say to the pants?

What's up, britches.

What did the man say when he ran out of clothes?

Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.

Arab Jokes More Arab Jokes

Why do Arabs wear thawbs?

Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What did the Arab say to his goat?

Jihad Me at hello