Robot Jokes

What do you call a #robot stranded in the ocean?

A row bot.

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Why don't robots have brothers?

Because they all have trans-sisters

What do you call it when two robots miscommunicate?

A syntax error.

How do I turn my new girlfriend on?

She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?

The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.

Why was the Robot angry at the engineer?

Because he screwed his wife!

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What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What did the robot say to the gas pump?

Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!" I saw this in a Highlights magazine when I was a kid.

What do you say when a robot explodes into pieces?

Rest in pieces. I'll show myself out now.

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress?

A gender bender Bender fender bender.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Steel wool

What do you call a robot dressed in drag?

A transition metal.

What did the robot say to the centipede?

Stop being a centipede." Get it, because the robot has no arms! Hahhahaha, gets me everytime.

What do you call a robot whose brain is unplugged?

Mentally dis-cabled.

What do robots do at the rave?

They torque.

What do you call a pony mixed with a robot?

RoboClop....so sorry

Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

Why do Transformers always have their heads in the clouds?

They're robots in da skies.

Why don't robots have any brothers?

They all have transisters.

What did the robot say to the other robot as they destroyed each other?

Nothing personal."

What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?

A. A Dino-sour 2.Q. Were do robots go to worship A. Mech-a

Why do robots make bad lovers?

Nuts &amp bolts!

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?

He falls off

Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose?

An olfactory reset.

What do you call a one night stand with a robot?

Nut and bolt

Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?

Because they have trans-sisters.

Why are robots never afraid?

Because they have nerves of steel

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Yours tin-sincerely.

Why was the robot cold?

He was missing his winter gear

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

What do you call a robot doing the Gangnam Style dance?

A Psy-borg.

Why do robots make bad boyfriends?

They just screw, nut, then bolt.

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Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

How do you stop an F4 tornado from destroying a town?

A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris! However, this method will cause more destruction than the tornado.

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet? How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words? I don't know.

Ocean Jokes More Ocean Jokes

What's the highest point in the ocean?

The Marijuanas Trench.

What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup (Soccer)?

Turn off the Playstation.

Bathroom Jokes More Bathroom Jokes

Why were there balloons in the bathroom?

There was a birthday potty.

What's the best thing about a swimming pool bar?

There's never a line for the bathroom.

Night Stand Jokes More Night Stand Jokes

What do you call a one-night stand?

A humpty-dumpty!

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?

He falls off

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

Who's there ! Bond ! Bond who ?

Bond to succeed !

What do you call a bottle of glue in a spy's pocket?

A bonding agent.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

What do blacks and bikes have in common?

They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit.