Brick Jokes

What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

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Which is faster to unload, a truckload of bricks or a truckload of dead kittens?

Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

A brick to the back of his head should do it.

What does an obese white woman have in common with a brick?

Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican.

What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?

Sink-o de Mayo"

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

What's the difference between me and a pile of bricks?

The bricks will get laid.

What is red and hurts when you bite it?

A Brick.

What's the difference between you and a brick?

Bricks can get laid.

What did the brick say to the rock?

Nothing, it's just a brick, what's wrong with you.

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What does a brick and your mom have in common?

They are both flat-chested and laid by Mexicans.

This joke may have profanity.

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What's the difference between OP and a brick?

A brick gets laid!

What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

What do bricks and Latinas have in common?

They both get laid by Mexicans...

What is the difference between a Windows Phone and a brick?

One is a brick and the other is a brick with a screen

What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

How do you hire an elephant ?

Stand it on four bricks !

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick?

Bricks get laid.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

What is Klaus Teuber's (designer of Settlers of Catan) favorite TV show?

Brick and Orety

How do you hire a horse?

Put a brick under each hoof!

What is the difference between a brick and a blonde?

If you lay a brick it doesn't follow you home.

What do a brick and I have in common?

We both get laid by hand.

What did one brick say to the other?

Guess who's gettin' laid tomorrow!

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick?

The brick will eventually get laid.

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

Which pig is she?

Me: What do you mean 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bricks ?

Only one can be emptied with a pitchfork.

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A Brick.

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Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit?

Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

What's got a pair of balls and 100 teeth?

A: A crocodile Q: what's got a 100 balls and a pair of teeth? A: A singing choir of army veterans

What do you get when you put 20 Meth Heads in 1 room?

A full set of teeth

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

What does a pimp do when his garden needs tending?

He grabs a hoe.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ?

Amelia a package last week - did you get it !

Why is Friday the best day of the week?

Its the 5/7 day of the week

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

Pitchfork Jokes More Pitchfork Jokes

What's USSR favourite Pink Floyd's Album?

The Wall. pls don't pitchfork me

What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

There's only one you can unload with a pitchfork. Edit: Who said something about dead babies?

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum?

It drives me nuts.

What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up?

Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb?

Juan.

How Many A Cappella Singers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Twelve. Three to Physically Change the Bulb, Three to Talk About How Complicated it Was and Six to Call themselves Electricians.