Cow Jokes

How do cows talk to each other?

They cowmoonicate.

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What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy?

Decalfinated.

What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?

A cow can't be milked for 70 years.

Why are cows so famous?

Because they're out-standing in their field.

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

What do cows get when they are sick?

Hay Fever

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !

What do cows like to line dance to ?

Any kind of moosic you like !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

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Where do cows like to live?

St. Moo-is.

What makes the noise of a cow when you turn it upside down?

A cow.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

What did the cow say to the horse?

Mooooooo

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

Who do cows pray to?

Moohammad

What do cows read at the breakfast table?

The moospaper!

What do cows do in traffic?

They moove

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

What goes oo ooo oooo?

A cow with no lips.

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?

The slaughter house

What does a cow measure its harddrive in?

Moogabytes

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

Why don't cows ever have any money?

Because the farmers milk them dry!

What's in front of a woman and in the back of a cow?

The W. Yeah my dad just busted this joke on me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who?

No, cows go moo.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

What do you call a cow on a trampoline?

A milk shake!

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

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Moo Jokes More Moo Jokes

What Does A Ghost Cow Say?

Moo!

How do you make cultured milk?

You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already.

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

Why did Jesus have a six pack?

It was from all the cross-training...

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?

A laplander !

Leave Leg Jokes More Leave Leg Jokes

What's a cow no legs?

Ground Beef What's a cow with two left legs Lean Beef What's a cow with two hind legs Sarah Palin

What did Kim Kardashian's right leg say to her left leg?

Nothing, they've never been together!

Beef Jerky Jokes More Beef Jerky Jokes

What's beef jerky?

Dried parts of a cow that had Parkinson's.

What does a cow who's a jerk grow up to be?

Beef Jerky.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke?

RIP post

What's the difference between three black guys and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket?

He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

Leg Ground Beef Jokes More Leg Ground Beef Jokes

What do you call... A cow with one leg?

Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs Your mom

What do you call cows with 2 legs?

Lean beef. bonus: What do you call cows with no legs Ground beef.