Cow Jokes

How do cows talk to each other?

They cowmoonicate.

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What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy?

Decalfinated.

What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?

A cow can't be milked for 70 years.

Why are cows so famous?

Because they're out-standing in their field.

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

What do cows get when they are sick?

Hay Fever

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !

What do cows like to line dance to ?

Any kind of moosic you like !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

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Where do cows like to live?

St. Moo-is.

What makes the noise of a cow when you turn it upside down?

A cow.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

What did the cow say to the horse?

Mooooooo

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

Who do cows pray to?

Moohammad

What do cows read at the breakfast table?

The moospaper!

What do cows do in traffic?

They moove

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

What goes oo ooo oooo?

A cow with no lips.

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?

The slaughter house

What does a cow measure its harddrive in?

Moogabytes

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

Why don't cows ever have any money?

Because the farmers milk them dry!

What's in front of a woman and in the back of a cow?

The W. Yeah my dad just busted this joke on me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who?

No, cows go moo.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

What do you call a cow on a trampoline?

A milk shake!

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

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How do you prevent a canoe from tipping?

Paint it black.

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

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How many cow-lories does a cheeseburger have?

Moo many...

Why did the cow cross the road?

Parent: "Wh-" Me: "Moo!"

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What do Iron man and Sarah Palin have in common?

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What's Sarah Palin's favorite thing to do in the summertime?

Parah Salin.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?

Time to get a new car.

What do you call a cow that got hit by a car?

moo-tilated.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?

2 - Because she had no arms 1 - Knock Knock 2 - Who's there 1 - Not Susie

Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma?

I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana

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What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and your mom?

Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call.

How dare you complain about your life?

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What's the difference between a New Yorker and a Canadian?

A New Yorker takes the A train; a Canadian takes the train, eh.

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !