Fridge Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

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What do me and my fridge have in common?

Were both empty inside and weigh a tonne

Why is there a "D" in fridge but not in refrigerator?

Because you don't put the "D" in the big ones.

How do you know when to use "fridge" or "refrigerator"?

Open it, if there's a 'd' in it, it's a fridge.

Whats white blue and rectangular?

A fridge with a denim jacket on.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because someone threw a fridge at her....

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

Why did the girls fall off the swing?

Someone threw a fridge at her. It's not supposed to make sense

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

How do you know your fridge is going through menopause?

It's all out of eggs..

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

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Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

How do you hide an elephant in a fridge?

You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

Why did the boy fall off the bike?

Someone threw a fridge at him.... Gold

How long does guacamole last in the fridge?

Please say a year.

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

A: In case she wanted black coffee.

What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge?

Elvis Parsley

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?

They are for those who don't drink!

Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

What does a Bird and a fridge have in common?

They Can Both fly except the fridge.

Whats rectangular, white and blue?

A fridge with a denim jacket on. HA!

How do you put elephant in the fridge?

Answer is open the door and just put the elephant in the fridge.

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?

Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream?

She got hit by a bus. Sequel: Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream Someone threw a fridge at her.

What's blue and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge with a denim jacket on

Why are wedding gowns white?

Cuz the dishwasher should match the stove and the fridge

What's blue and white and sits up a tree?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie."

Why did little Johnny fall off the swing?

he didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike Someone threw a fridge at her.

Why is the fridge shaking so much?

It's running just fine. Probrably because it's so turned on!

Whats white and cant climb trees?

A fridge --

What's big and white and sits in a tree?

A fridge. What's big and white and blue and sits in a tree A fridge wearing jeans.

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Fill Jokes More Fill Jokes

How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

How many ants does it takes to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?

Thrown out of the petting zoo

What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Why did the cowboy get a miniature dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggy.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree?

Ruff Bark

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

Bride Jokes More Bride Jokes

Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding?

Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face.

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?

Bolt upright.

What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime?

A: Paddy O'Furniture!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

1950s Jokes More 1950s Jokes

What did the turkey say about the television program from the 1950s?

There's a little bit too much grayvy.

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.