Cheese Jokes

What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

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What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

Which cheese is schizophrenic?

Halloumi

What's Medusa's favorite kind of cheese?

Gorgonzola.

What type of cheese lives under your bed?

Muenster.

What do you call an arcade in eastern europe?

czech-e-cheese

What is a mouse's favorite record ?

Please cheese me' !

What did the mouse say to the webcam?

Cheese.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast in infection?

A Quarter Pounder with cheese! Yum Yum

How did I boast to the cheese I made myself?

Gruyere."

What do you call an aggresive white guy that over-acts in a movie?

A salty cracker with cheese.

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What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

taking out a provoloan

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

What did the milk say to the cheese?

Hey, you're old!

What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

That's no whey to go through life, son.

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What's Medusa's favorite type of cheese?

Gorgon*zola

What is Rhiannas favorite type of cheese?

mozzarella-ella-ella

What did God say to the cheese that sinned?

Gouda Hell.

What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

Why didn't the cheese get sliced?

It was destined for grater.

What does God smell like?

Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

Why did the man put cheese on his computer?

A: He wanted to feed the mouse.

What type of cheese is strong?

Shredded cheese.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan?

Battle Royale with cheese

What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

Battle Royale with cheese.

What is Meghan Trainor's favorite instrument?

A double quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call a Ethiopian with gonorrhoea?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?

Swish cheese.

Which cheese is the loneliest?

Prov-alone!

What do u call an anorexic women with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What musical instrument goes with cheese?

Picklelo.

Who's there ! Bologna ! Bologna who ?

Bologna & cheese !

What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

A paddy melt!!

What type of cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

gets arrested*

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

What did the German say when the Spaniard asked him for some cheese?

Mi Kase es su Kase.

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?

A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours...?

Not *your* cheese!

What do you call a midget with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese

How do cheese strings work?

I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

How can we possibly improve this?

Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

Why did the cheese go to the museum?

To get cultured

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

What cheese can never be yours?

Nacho cheese.

What do you call cheese by itself?

Provolone.

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How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

Nacho Jokes More Nacho Jokes

How do you get 1000 dead babies into the bed of a pickup truck?

A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!

What do you call cheese that isn't your cheese?

NACHO-CHEESE

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?

Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. "If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo":p

How do u find an old man in the dark?

Its not that hard

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a crackhead and a walrus?

One tooth

What's the difference between Barbara Walters and Oprah?

Oprahs Black

Host Jokes More Host Jokes

What do astronauts do to host a party?

They planet.

Why couldn't the FBI find Sepp Blatter's bribe money?

He used it all to bribe Canada to host the Women's World Cup.

Cottage Cheese Jokes More Cottage Cheese Jokes

What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

Cottage cheese.

How do you make cottage cheese?

You shake a baby.

Cheese Grater Jokes More Cheese Grater Jokes

What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read.

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.