Cheese Jokes

What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

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What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

Which cheese is schizophrenic?

Halloumi

What's Medusa's favorite kind of cheese?

Gorgonzola.

What type of cheese lives under your bed?

Muenster.

What do you call an arcade in eastern europe?

czech-e-cheese

What is a mouse's favorite record ?

Please cheese me' !

What did the mouse say to the webcam?

Cheese.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast in infection?

A Quarter Pounder with cheese! Yum Yum

How did I boast to the cheese I made myself?

Gruyere."

What do you call an aggresive white guy that over-acts in a movie?

A salty cracker with cheese.

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What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

taking out a provoloan

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

What did the milk say to the cheese?

Hey, you're old!

What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

That's no whey to go through life, son.

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What's Medusa's favorite type of cheese?

Gorgon*zola

What is Rhiannas favorite type of cheese?

mozzarella-ella-ella

What did God say to the cheese that sinned?

Gouda Hell.

What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

Why didn't the cheese get sliced?

It was destined for grater.

What does God smell like?

Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

Why did the man put cheese on his computer?

A: He wanted to feed the mouse.

What type of cheese is strong?

Shredded cheese.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan?

Battle Royale with cheese

What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

Battle Royale with cheese.

What is Meghan Trainor's favorite instrument?

A double quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call a Ethiopian with gonorrhoea?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?

Swish cheese.

Which cheese is the loneliest?

Prov-alone!

What do u call an anorexic women with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What musical instrument goes with cheese?

Picklelo.

Who's there ! Bologna ! Bologna who ?

Bologna & cheese !

What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

A paddy melt!!

What type of cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

gets arrested*

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

What did the German say when the Spaniard asked him for some cheese?

Mi Kase es su Kase.

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?

A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours...?

Not *your* cheese!

What do you call a midget with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese

How do cheese strings work?

I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

How can we possibly improve this?

Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

Why did the cheese go to the museum?

To get cultured

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

What cheese can never be yours?

Nacho cheese.

What do you call cheese by itself?

Provolone.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

Allahu Akbar!" I'm going to hell for this.

What's your heigth and position?

Pilot: Well I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.

Provolone Jokes More Provolone Jokes

Why was the cheese so sad?

Because it was provOLONE

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in church has hope in her soul

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What are you doing tonight?

Your wife.

Why didn't they just call "Ant-Man" Uncle?

Credit to Steve Higgins from The Tonight Show.

Request Jokes More Request Jokes

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

Why didn't the NSA request AT&ampT's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Jar Jokes More Jar Jokes

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue?

You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there

Belong Jokes More Belong Jokes

What did quantum consciousness say to its son?

Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging.

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song