Knead Jokes

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

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Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

because he was kneaded.

Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What did the hands say to the flour?

I knead you!"

Why were the baker's hands smelly?

He kneaded a poo

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Why did the baker only date large breasted women?

Because he kneaded them.

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Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

Why is money called dough?

Because we all knead it.

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded."

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough?

You're my life's devotion. I knead you!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"

When is a bread not kneaded?

When it's unnecessary

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

How does a neckbeard neurologist address a Hispanic midwife who can't quit her job?

M'doula obligada.

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What sort of underwear does the ghost of a French baker wear?

Boulangerie.

What the hell is this REstraining Order?

I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.

Flour Jokes More Flour Jokes

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

Why did Kanye West blow up the bakery?

Because no one man should have all that flour.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

When are they going to bring slavery back?

I am tired of looking for a job.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby I'll check on that.

How do you know a wood pieces history?

You check its logbook

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

What do people in Prague call abortions?

Canceled Czechs

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

What's the similarity of a dough and a human?

If they are thick, they have a hard time to rise

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

Why is it so hard to help deaf people?

Because they never listen.