Bean Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid a garbanzo to bean on my face.

How does William Shakespeare make chili?

With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question.

How many beans are in Irish Chili?

239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".

Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What did the bean say to the other bean?

How have you been?

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What did one bean say to the other?

How you bean doing.

How many beans are in Irish bean soup?

Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too farty.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does the hipster make crappy coffee?

The beans are always under-ground.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?

Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What is a goal keepers favourite snack ?

Beans on post !

Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ?

Cork and beans !

Why did ancient Egyptians love beans?

They made Tootin' Common.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?

the beans keep slipping through the grill.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car?

Pork and beans

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

How many beans do you put in Irish chili?

Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why Because one more would be two-farty.

Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow?

2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Who's there ! Bean ! Bean who ?

Bean working very hard today !

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

What is the politically correct term for Mexicans?

Human Beans.

What did the cannibal have for lunch?

Baked beings (beans).

What do you call a bean that's good at silent acting?

A pintomime.

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Question Jokes More Question Jokes

How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves?

The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

What questioned started the Holocaust?

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Chickpea Jokes More Chickpea Jokes

Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans and chickpeas?

I've never paid $200 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

Who makes the best fried chicken?

Crispin Glover.

What's it made of?

An engineering major says "How is it made " An arts major says... "Would you like fries with that "

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many servers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, it's not my side work.

Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend?

Because...bros before hose!

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

What does a baby sound like when you put it in the microwave?

Idk, I was too busy jacking off...

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

Iv Jokes More Iv Jokes

Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water?

She was taking god's name in vein.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?

There was a face off in the corner

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.