Bean Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid a garbanzo to bean on my face.

How does William Shakespeare make chili?

With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question.

How many beans are in Irish Chili?

239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".

Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What did the bean say to the other bean?

How have you been?

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What did one bean say to the other?

How you bean doing.

How many beans are in Irish bean soup?

Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too farty.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

Why does the hipster make crappy coffee?

The beans are always under-ground.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?

Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What is a goal keepers favourite snack ?

Beans on post !

Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ?

Cork and beans !

Why did ancient Egyptians love beans?

They made Tootin' Common.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?

the beans keep slipping through the grill.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car?

Pork and beans

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

How many beans do you put in Irish chili?

Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why Because one more would be two-farty.

Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow?

2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Who's there ! Bean ! Bean who ?

Bean working very hard today !

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

What is the politically correct term for Mexicans?

Human Beans.

What did the cannibal have for lunch?

Baked beings (beans).

What do you call a bean that's good at silent acting?

A pintomime.

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Bean Soup Jokes More Bean Soup Jokes

Why did the Irish woman only put 239 beans into her bean soup?

Because 1 more would have been 240...

Why are there only two hundred and thirty nine beans in a bowl of bean soup?

Because just one more and it would be two-farty

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did I wear no jeans today?

my supply was short.

Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

he was undercover *!*

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Ramsay Bolton.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

Why do Greeks like fried foods?

Because they're greasy

What does a PASCAL programmer say to a C programmer?

A: "Would you like fries with that "

Chic Pea Jokes More Chic Pea Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

Kidney Bean Jokes More Kidney Bean Jokes

What's the difference a kidney bean and a chickpea?

I've never paid $200 to have a kidney bean in my mouth.

What's the difference between a kidney bean and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $100 to have a kidney bean on my face.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Whats the difference between a priest and acne?

One waits till you're 14 before coming on your face.

What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus?

Alcmene triple-dog-dared him.