Kind Jokes

What kind of health insurance does a llama need?

Ollamacare

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?

A high rise

What kind of music does a printer make?

A paper jam.

What kind of sound does a horny toad make?

Rubbit, rubbit.

This joke may have profanity.

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite?

Funicula

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.

What kind of money do fishermen make ?

Net profits !

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move?

Poll dancing!

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?

Sneakers

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What does a leg do when it gets exasperated?

It thighs.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door?

Matt

Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?

Vitamin bills!

Which vitamin best helps a pokemon breed?

PP Up.

Moray Jokes More Moray Jokes

What did the Italian say when the eel swam by?

That's a Moray.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

Baltimore Jokes More Baltimore Jokes

What is the worst city to be a cop in?

Baltimore, I hear it's backbreaking work.

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters?

They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why did Michael Bay jump off a bridge?

Cause Tony Scott did it first.

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

What do you call a Latino whos car got nicked?

Carlos-t

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk.

Why did the blind man walk into a wall?

Somebody shot his dog

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?

So you're the one.... (only if you answered "i don't know")