Kind Jokes

What kind of health insurance does a llama need?

Ollamacare

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

What kind of trucks do pigs drive?

A pig up truck

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?

A high rise

What kind of music does a printer make?

A paper jam.

What kind of sound does a horny toad make?

Rubbit, rubbit.

This joke may have profanity.

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

What kind of tea does an anarchist drink?

Cheap generic iced tea. Because proper tea is theft.

What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite?

Funicula

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?

Eski-moos!

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.

What kind of money do fishermen make ?

Net profits !

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move?

Poll dancing!

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?

Sneakers

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

What kind of music do welders like?

Heavy metal.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

Why did the dog go to the hospital?

He was feeling ruff.

Sushi Restaurant Jokes More Sushi Restaurant Jokes

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant?

I am saury.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

Who wants gold?

amuse me first...hahaha

Where does a pirate keep his gold?

In his treas-arrrr chest!

Bridge Jokes More Bridge Jokes

Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge?

To avoid car-pool tunnel!

What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his hoagie off a bridge?

There goes my Hero.

Moray Jokes More Moray Jokes

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

Eel Jokes More Eel Jokes

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What did one turtle say to the other eel?

hahaha hahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What is cowhide mostly used for?

Keeping cows from falling apart.

What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?

You slow down and use lube ( )

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

Why did u shoot your wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot your wife instead of shootingher lover? Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.