Kind Jokes

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

moo-dicinal

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What kind of bone do you find in a dinosaur steak?

A T-Bone!!!!

What kind of phone does a burglar use?

A no-key-a

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!

What kind of tree smells like bacon?

Original ) A Porcupine!

Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes?

Answer : "Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"

What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with?

Meesathelioma.

What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house?

Cinnamon Ghost Crunch

What kind of cancer does an amnesiac oncologist diagnose?

Adenocarcinoma

What kind of bees hum and drop things ?

A fumble bee !

What kind of a car does a crazy man drive?

A LOCOmotive.

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What kind of music does your mailman like?

Postrock/Postpunk

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

What kind of dough do Hobbit bakers use?

Frodough.

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?

Lawsuits.

What kind of type face does a pachyderm use?

ele-font

What are the three kinds of women's cancer?

1. Breast Cancer 2. Ovarian Cancer 3. Feminism

What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon?

Sow-r dough bread.

What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use?

The Hodor-eliminating kind.

What kind of fence goes on strike?

A picket fence.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?

HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

What kind of gun does a firefighter have?

A water gun.

What kind of bee can never make up its mind?

A maybe

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?

Hip-pop.

What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar?

Buck teeth!

What kind of dance do buns do?

Abundance.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

What kind of house is easiest to pick up?

A: A light house.

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ?

An aero-drone !

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

Which kind?

Friend: "Motivational."

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

rated movies

What kind of music does a mummy like?

W)rap music!

What kind of money do polar bears use ?

Ice lolly !

What kind of bees make the best milk?

Boo Bees!

What kind of bath can you take without water?

A sun bath.

What kind of beer does a cow brew?

Heifer-weizen.

What kind of jokestuff do farmers like?

Corny jokes.

What kind of toothpaste do MLG use?

Pretty much anything, just no Scope.

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

What kind of khakis do birds wear?

Khakaws!

What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

What kind of elephants live in Antartica ?

Cold ones !

What kind of fish has two knees?

A tunee fish.

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

What kind of cat should you take into the desert ?

A first aid kitty !

What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

What kind of witch goes to the beach?

A: Sandwitch

What kind of ships can't go in salt water?

Snail-boats

What kind of dog is a person's best friend?

A palmatian!

What kind of dreams do dustmites have?

Mitemares

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of physician works on a cruise liner?

A dry doc.

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have?

A: Rep-tiles.

What kind of pants does the Pink Panther wear?

Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Deniiiiim

What kind of apple isn't an apple?

A pineapple.

What kind of work does a weak cat do?

A: Light mouse work.

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

What kind of papers do dogs write?

A ruff draft.

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!

What kind of eye disease do vampires get?

Dracular degeneration.

What kind of people should you stay away from?

Trees. They're quite shady.

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

A: Women!

What kind of chemical bond is Hispanic?

An Ester Bond

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

What kind of cats lay around the house?

A: Car-pets!

What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!

What kind of doctors are like spiders ?

Spin doctors !

What kind of doctor does a duck visit?

A Ducktor.

What kind of car trouble?

Me: "It doesn't go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

What kind of fish loves to fix instruments?

A tuna.

What kind of amphibian is hired to take your car away?

Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.

What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions?

A Humblebee.

What kind of money do snowmen use?

Iced lolly.

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

What kind of story does a rabbit tell?

A fluffy tale.

How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit?

Unique up on it. How do you catch a very calm rabbit The tame way.

What kind of wine do bears drink?

Maulbec

What kind of wig can hear ?

An earwig !

What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

A: Mule-tide greetings.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What kind of birds do girls like?

My-cawk!

What kind of name is Joaquin?

It's not Russian

What kind of pictures do turtles take?

Shellfies!

What kind of bird lays electric eggs ?

A battery hen !

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHILARIOUS

What kind of music can't Ed Sheeran play?

Soul

What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?

Just a pair 'a normal pants.

What kind of shoes to frogs like ?

Open toad sandals !

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Tom Jokes More Tom Jokes

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ?

Mice cubes !

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Bagel Jokes More Bagel Jokes

What do you call a seagull by the bay?

A bagel.

Why was everyone afraid of the everything bagel?

Because he looked pretty seedy!

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

What did the Japanese man say when he jumped out of Office Depot?

SUPPLIES!!!

Why are lilypads round?

So that it's easier for the hippos to jump on them.

Vitamin D Jokes More Vitamin D Jokes

Why are all lesbians ill?

They lack vitamin D

What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take?

Vitamin "D".

Mickey Mouse Jokes More Mickey Mouse Jokes

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?

The hell out of there.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

Where did that offensive joke post go?

I'm pretty sure I saved it to make reference to eventually and now I cannot find it. There was some gold in there.

What did King Midas say to the centaur?

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

Baltimore Jokes More Baltimore Jokes

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

What do you get when you burn Baltimore?

Baltiless