Kind Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of car does a rich baker drive?

A Rolls-Royce.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock

What kind of cologne applies itself?

Elon Musk

What kind of shoes do thieves wear?

Sneakers.

What kind of beer was Dr. Stephen Strange serving?

It was his own Strange Brew. You would be Moranic not to like it.

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

What kind of car does a cat drive?

A Cadillac.

What kind of tree is a must?

An obliga-tree.

What kind of street to ghosts, goblins and ghouls live on?

A Dead End.

What does a college kid do when confronted by an evil spirit?

He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?

Decom-pose.

What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

What kind of plants grow in bathrooms?

Toilet trees.

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

culosis.

What kind of math can you do with light?

Refractions

What kind of Ant lives in rented accommodation?

Tenants.

What kind of girls date firefighters?

Hose.

What kind of fish can you find in a hospital?

A sturgeon.

What kind of music do wind turbines listen to?

They're huge metal fans.

What kind of music venues do gun lovers like the most?

Carry OK

What do you call the belief that one kind of shoe is better than another?

Shoepremacy.

What kind of gardening is done in the hood?

Weeding

What kind of shrimp does Chris Brown like?

Battered shrimp.

What kind of mic did Kurt Cobain use?

A shotgun mic!

What kind of ideas do blind people get?

Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind.

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside?

A mushroom.

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

What kind of sick bird is against the law?

an ill eagle

What kind of cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

What kind of tree has the best bark?

A dogwood

What kind of database does a Pokdex use?

PokMongoDB

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

rated movies.

What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred?

A hot dog

What kind of superhero would Caitlyn Jenner be?

An Ex-Man.

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

What kind of tea do koalas drink?

Euca-lipton

What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?

FINNISH HYMN!

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

What kind of drug is /r/theRedPill?

It's a beta blocker

What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

Cottage cheese.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

What kind of dog should you get a spanish speaker?

A spaniel.

What kind of bird does not make babies?

A swallow

What kind of tree likes a high five?

A palm tree

What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

What kind of bat hangs upside-down?

An acrobat.

What kind of wolf never runs?

Steppenwolf

What kind of cancer always stands by the government?

Pro-state cancer.

What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toy-Yoda

What kind of fun do priests have?

Nun

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One."

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

What kind of cheese gives out money?

Prova I just came up with that and feel pretty proud (:

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

What kind of degree do you inherit through marriage?

A degree in law.

What kind of bees get you high?

Doo-bees... I'm so sorry for that

Why do rabbits prefer IPA's over other kinds of beers?

Because they use extra hops

What kind of vision does Fetty Wap have?

17/38

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

What kind of computer can also sing?

A Dell.

What kind of operating system do horses use?

None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter.

What kind of a battery does Dj Khaled use?

A Li-ion battery.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

What kind of trophy do I get every time I lift weights?

Hypertrophy!

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

What kind of music did Jesus hate?

Anything by Judas Priest and Nine Inch Nails.

What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

What kind of Aircraft is into Men and Women?

A Biplane.

What kind of condoms do frogs wear?

Rib-bed

What kind of cheese would you use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone

What kind of food can you color with?

A cranberry! Esher (my Grandson) age 5

What kind of overalls does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?

Two plains.

What kind of music does a pirate like?

Arrr'n'B

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

sneakers( iknow its old but its nice)

What kind of music do balloons hate the most?

Pop music.

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

What kind of shoes do bears wear?

None because they go barefoot.

What kind of dog does Sauron have?

A La-Barad-dr

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

What kind of computer can't sing?

A Dell

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na!

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium molecules?

2 na

What kind of drink does a ghetto drinks?

A GHETTOrade

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ?

Reality. I'll show myself out now...

What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water

What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most ?

French press

What kind of cuisine did the rude Jamaican serve?

Caribbean Jerk. Ayyyyy!

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why do dogs run in circles?

Because it's harder to run in squares.

How do you walk a dog with no legs?

You don't, you pick it up.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?

Vitamin bills!

Which vitamin best helps a pokemon breed?

PP Up.

Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Moray Jokes More Moray Jokes

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

What's Dean Martin's favorite eel?

That's a moray.

Bridge Jokes More Bridge Jokes

Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge?

Because he didn't truss it.

Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers?

A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a person who is missing his left eye, left ear, left arm and left leg?

Alright.

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."