Hole Jokes

Why don't Muslims fight each other often?

Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands

What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?

Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

Whats the distance between hole one and hole two?

She answered "About an inch".

What is a condom with a hole?

Kinder Surprise

What's red, white and sits in a hole in a tree?

A sanitary owl

Why was the moth so unpopular ?

He kept picking holes in everything !

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?

Finding a condom in your hole!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How do you know when the hole you're digging is big enough?

When the (w)hole job's done.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Who smashed a hole through the wall?

Everyone in the office stares at me, even the Kool-Aid man

How do you make holes in a fire?

With a fire drill.

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

Why did the mirror have holes in it?

A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

How many mm3 of dirt is there in a hole 1m x 1m x 1m?

There is no dirt in the hole!

What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?

A hole-y Cow!

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.

Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

Isn't this using the internet backwards

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum?

There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum.

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Who's there ! Anita ! Anita who ?

Anita you like I need a hole in the head !

Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Is there a hole in your shoe?

No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

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Line Jokes More Line Jokes

Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?

German soldiers like to march in the shade.

How does a baboon make phone calls?

He just monkeys around on the line!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What does a man of 35 think of?

Dating children.

What did the empty beer bottle say to the other beer bottle?

I'm just not hoppy anymore man

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

M Jokes More M Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

What do you call people pretending to be a ball?

roll playing im sry

Golf Course Jokes More Golf Course Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

Why don't the Amish waterski?

The horses would drown. Ba-dum TISH

Drill Jokes More Drill Jokes

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Where's my freaking phone?

and it answers, "I'm here! Under your jacket!"

What is the most beautiful thing in the world?

Is it your right thigh, or your left? Or does the answer lie somewhere in the middle?