Hole Jokes

Why don't Muslims fight each other often?

Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands

What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?

Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

Whats the distance between hole one and hole two?

She answered "About an inch".

What is a condom with a hole?

Kinder Surprise

What's red, white and sits in a hole in a tree?

A sanitary owl

Why was the moth so unpopular ?

He kept picking holes in everything !

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?

Finding a condom in your hole!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How do you know when the hole you're digging is big enough?

When the (w)hole job's done.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Who smashed a hole through the wall?

Everyone in the office stares at me, even the Kool-Aid man

How do you make holes in a fire?

With a fire drill.

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

Why did the mirror have holes in it?

A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

How many mm3 of dirt is there in a hole 1m x 1m x 1m?

There is no dirt in the hole!

What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?

A hole-y Cow!

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.

Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

Isn't this using the internet backwards

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum?

There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum.

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Who's there ! Anita ! Anita who ?

Anita you like I need a hole in the head !

Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Is there a hole in your shoe?

No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

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Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What's the difference between 'Oh' and 'Oooh'?

About three inches

What is the difference between ooh and aah?

Just three inches.

18 Hole Jokes More 18 Hole Jokes

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How much power does a hearse have?

1 corpsepower

Why did the Irish woman only put 239 beans into her bean soup?

Because 1 more would have been 240...

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

How was Rome cut in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What's the worst thing that could happen if you don't use a condom?

Your parents would know!

What type of condoms does Ronald McDonald use?

McRibbed

End Jokes More End Jokes

What don't you ever wanna call a black person that begins with the letter n. And ends with the letter r?

Neighbor

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Fill Jokes More Fill Jokes

What do you get if you fill a suburb full of Mermen?

Prawn crackers.

Why did cavemen... drag their women by the hair?

So they wouldn't fill up with gravel.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why Can't America tell knock knock jokes?

Cause' freedom RINGS!

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.