Spit Jokes

How do you know when you have a good redneck girlfriend?

If she can give you oral with a dip in and know which to swallow and which to spit.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, "Spit out your gum!" The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"

What do you call a spitting alarm?

An Allarma

How is Drake similar to someone with dysuria?

They both spit fire

What do you call a large group of people who spit on others?

The Salivation Army.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

What do your mom and a camel have in common?

They both spit.

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

Spit, Swallow and Gargle.

What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off?

Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.

When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face?

When her moustache is on fire!

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Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

What's the difference between your mom and an alpaca?

One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.

Whats the difference between love, ture love, and showing off?

spit, sallow, and gargle.

What's the difference between an alpaca and your Mom?

One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America.

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

What's black, white, black, white, black, brown, black brown, black, black, black, black, black?

A nun on a spit

Why is it better to be ashy?

cause it just means you spit more fire

What is purple, blue, and white and spits out dad jokes?

What's the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground?

spits*

When is the only appropriate time to spit in an Italian woman's face?

When her mustache is on fire!

Whats the definition of love true love and showing off?

Spitting swallowing and gargling.

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

Why did the lion spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny.

Why do so many guys spit in urinals?

Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener.

What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?

A cud thud!

What do you call it when a feminist yells so much she spits on your face?

A femijizm

Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?

Cause William Shatner Coffee. hahahha

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

What do you call it when you thrust a hairy pole in and out of your mouth, and at the end you spit out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth!

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster spit?

It's saliva! IT'S SALIIIVA!!!"

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?

A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."

Why do people say clean as a whistle?

Whistles aren't clean, they're full of spit

Why did the aligator spit out his lunch?

Because it was two years old

What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

What if I color on you?

What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog

What has been confirmed when Ariana Grande spat on the donuts?

She's a spitter, not a swallower.

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True Love Jokes More True Love Jokes

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster ?

The train got windows

What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist?

A pervert.

Dip Jokes More Dip Jokes

What does the Pope dip his chips in?

Holy Guacamole

Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip?

He just wanted the inside scoop.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What font was used on Wyatt Earp's tombstone?

Sans Sheriff.

What do you call it when a Bulgarian uses vulgar language?

A Bulgarity.

Drake Jokes More Drake Jokes

What is Drake's favorite type of alcohol?

Cripple Sec

What did Drake say to 2Chainz as he was leaving da club?

Challah at ya boy!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What is a dad joke?

Punchlines that got married and settled down.

Where did you marry?

HIM: Maui ME: Oh, sowwy! Where did you mawwy her

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

Large Group Jokes More Large Group Jokes

What did the bishop say to a large group of priest at the overnight camp for young boys?

Let us prey.'

What do you call a large group of people who spit on others?

The Salivation Army.