Love Jokes

What is the name of the martial arts discipline that the anime girl that you are in love with practices?

Wai fu.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

Why does Calvin Harris like reading fairy tales?

He loves a good happy ending

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Why don't tennis players ever get married?

Because love means nothing to them.

What's one thing you hated as a kid but love as an adult?

Molestation.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

What's the difference between like, love and lust?

Spit Swallow Gargle

What tattoo should I get?

TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please.

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

How do you know if someone truly loves fast food?

It has a special place in their hearts

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?

Because he's Indie!

Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

Driver: I love to travel.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?

A stupid Cupid!

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

Why do tennis players never get married?

Because Love means nothing to them.

What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone?

You're dead to me"

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

What type of monster really loves dance music?

A: The boogieman.

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

What do you call an "Asian" that loves using moisturizer?

Laotian.

Why are your eyes dilated?

Me: "Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love" Mom: "What were you looking at " Me: "Memes"

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

Why did everyone love the fisherman?

He was a real catch

What do geeks and nerds love but cant have?

80085

Why do orphans play tennis?

It's the only way they can get love.

What's black and white . . . What's black and white and loves kids?

Michael Jackson

Why does all of Jared Fogle's music sound the same?

Because he loves to abuse A Minor.

Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?

Random Dude: [...💘]

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

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Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

Why couldn't anyone catch the hippie?

He was way to high, man.

What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house?

Namaste

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training.

What happens when a high school calls in a replacement teacher for a subject they know nothing about?

Ooops... wrong sub.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?

Thanks I'll just have a sliver !

What did one piece of bread say to the sad piece of bread?

Its going to be all rye.

Miso Jokes More Miso Jokes

What the japanese version of mission impossible?

Miso impossible

How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food?

Because he said he loves miso.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What's so good about being a CPU?

Every time you are turned on, you're getting blown.

What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus?

He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Where do footballers dance?

At a football!

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call an aardvark that plays poker?

A cardvark!

What did the egg play in the movie?

The egg-stra.