Jump Jokes

When pigs have a party who jumps out of the cake?

Nobody. The pigs all jump in.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

Why did the horse run into the bar?

He didn't jump high enough.

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?

That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them a crossbar can't jump!

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

What's it called when a cow attempts to jump a barbed-wire fence?

An udder disaster

What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence?

I'm udderly ruined!" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to

Why did your sister jump out the window ?

Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team?

Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

What does the janitor say when he jumps out of the closet?

supplies!!!!!!!!!!

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What reindeer can jump higher than a house?

They all can! Houses can't jump!

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?

A nice hare cut

Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket?

He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

What does autocorrect and women have in common?

They both jump to concussion

Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics?

Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

Why did Johnny jump off the Eiffel Tower?

He was suicidal.

What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

Why can kangaroos jump higher than a house?

Because a house can't jump.

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!"

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?

Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How did the blind priest find the choir boys?

Satisfying.

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Where do boats go when they're sick?

The Doc

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Whats the KKK's favorite type of cake?

Sheet cake.

Empire State Building Jokes More Empire State Building Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and the Empire State Building?

Not everyone's been up the Empire State Building

What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building?

Ping Pong

Building Jokes More Building Jokes

What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ?

A fish tank !

What do you call a Muslim standing between two buildings?

Ali

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

How to you know that cows will be in heaven?

It's a place of udder delight.

Why do groups of cows not like new music releases?

Because they've herd it all before

Trampoline Jokes More Trampoline Jokes

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline?

I take my boots off to jump on the trampoline.

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

A trampoline doesn't look adorable in a sailor outfit

Goal Keeper Jokes More Goal Keeper Jokes

What is a goal keepers favourite snack ?

Beans on post !

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them a crossbar can't jump!