Jump Jokes

When pigs have a party who jumps out of the cake?

Nobody. The pigs all jump in.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

Why did the horse run into the bar?

He didn't jump high enough.

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?

That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them a crossbar can't jump!

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

What's it called when a cow attempts to jump a barbed-wire fence?

An udder disaster

What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence?

I'm udderly ruined!" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to

Why did your sister jump out the window ?

Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team?

Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

What does the janitor say when he jumps out of the closet?

supplies!!!!!!!!!!

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What reindeer can jump higher than a house?

They all can! Houses can't jump!

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?

A nice hare cut

Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket?

He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

What does autocorrect and women have in common?

They both jump to concussion

Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics?

Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

Why did Johnny jump off the Eiffel Tower?

He was suicidal.

What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

Why can kangaroos jump higher than a house?

Because a house can't jump.

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!"

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?

Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

You might also enjoy:

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator

What do you call a top-ranking Mexican dude that oversees everything?

Seor Manager

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

Men, get in the boat!"

What did the upset horse use to row his boat?

A saddle.

Trampoline Jokes More Trampoline Jokes

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline?

I take my boots off to jump on the trampoline.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a thug and a phone charger?

A phone charger charges batteries, but a thug has battery charges

What's the difference between r/politics and r/liberal?

None

Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

What do you call a can made in Mexico?

A Mexican.

What's Mexico's national sport?

Cross country

Kangaroo Jokes More Kangaroo Jokes

What's something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?

Baby kangaroos.

Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because all the kids have to play in side.

Tap Jokes More Tap Jokes

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

Where is the water main?

so I turned on the tap & said, "Right here, main."

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What does an egg say when he gets turnt?

Om lit cred: my friend DaMexicanBurrito from playstation.

What's your best racist joke?

I was just looking for some good racially insensitive jokes for my friends. Gimme your worst, Reddit.