Pant Jokes

Where do I put my pants?

He said, "Over there by mine."

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What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?

I didn't cottage in my pants

When is an aardvark jumpy?

When he's got ants in his pants!

Why did the Priest go to Walmart?

Because the little boys pants were half off.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

A: For holding up a pair of pants.

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

How do you think his pants fit him?

Like a glove.

What did the tree do when he got really nervous?

He SOILed his pants I'llseemyselfout...

What is Marios favorite type of pants?

Denim Denim Denim

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What are Mario and Luigi's favorite type of pants?

Denim, Denim, Denim

What pants do ghosts wear?

BOO jeans.

What kind of pants does the Pink Panther wear?

Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Deniiiiim

What's Mario's favorite type of pants?

DenimDenimDenim*

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

What do I have?

Someone else's pants.

What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...

What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants?

My iPhone 6

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants?

YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!"

Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?

The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!"

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

A: Depressed.

What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?

Just a pair 'a normal pants.

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?

So the can smell like big girls!

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man ?

Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..

What does a tight pair of pants and a cheap motel have in common?

No ballroom.

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?

Because the snowblower was coming.

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

Why do firemen wear red suspenders?

To keep their pants up.

When does a Smurf pull his pants down?

Once in a blue moon.

How do yo get to Sesame Street?

Unzip my pants and ask big bird

What do Wal mart and priests have in common?

They both have boys pants half off. I'm going to hell lol

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary?

Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).

Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

Pervert Jokes More Pervert Jokes

Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

Because he can see the D

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

Denim Denim Denim Jokes More Denim Denim Denim Jokes

What are Mario's pants made out of?

DenimDenimDenim

What's Mario's favorite type of pants?

DenimDenimDenim*

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company?

One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Alien vs. Predator

Uncle Jokes More Uncle Jokes

What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs?

An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet...

What does my Uncle and my account balance have in common?

I cry whenever I see them.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a mechanical and a civil engineer?

One builds weapons and the other build targets.

What's the difference between Colin Kaepernick and a martyr?

One stood for something

Majority Jokes More Majority Jokes

What's funny about majorities?

Most things.

Why do rappers love weed so much?

Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it

Frosty Jokes More Frosty Jokes

What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?

Have an ice day!

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.