Try Jokes

Why is he 50m from where he got shot?

Our best guess was he tried crawling home to clear his browser history"

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound?

If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

What was the first treacherous thing said?

Adam you gotta try this!

Why are they called The Fine Bros?

Because they try to get everyone fined for copyright.

What do you do with an infected chemist?

You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium

Why didn't the black kid play Pokemon?

He was afraid they were trying to catch Jamal.

How do you know that Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

What did Helen Keller's friend say to her?

offensive) You should try blind dating.

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

What did the right testlcle say to the left?

Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit?

Try to neghostiate.

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ?

I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it !

How do we know Adam &amp Eve weren't black?

You ever tried taking a rib from a black man

What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage. sorry.

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me !

How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?

Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?

A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.

What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show?

Drummers.

How Do We Know That Adam Wasn't Black?

Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man

Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby?

Because "There is no Try."

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

Why did your sister keep running around her bed ?

Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

Three brunettes trying to burn it down.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

What have you tried so far?

Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing

Why do christians burn fossil fuels?

They're trying to destroy the evidence.

What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

How to have an unforgettable date?

1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I am not sure, I haven't seen them try and I can't do it either.

How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?

Try it out on Internet Explorer

What do you do on a remote island?

Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

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Italy Jokes More Italy Jokes

What are the rough parts of Italy called?

The spaghetto.

What is worse than the earthquake in Italy?

The Holocaust.

White Girl Jokes More White Girl Jokes

Why is the white girl so odd?

Because she can't even. I'll be over in /r/dadjokes if you need me.

Why do white girls travel in groups of 3?

Because they can't even

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Where did the farmer find his missing baby horse?

In the foliage.

What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

Deja Moo!

Good Day Jokes More Good Day Jokes

What's the best day of the week to marry your gaming console?

Wednesday

How does a neckbeard greet a tree?

Good day, m'hogany'

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why couldn't Muhammad pick his wife up from childcare?

Because Muslim girls can't go to school

Why don't Mexicans blow their noses?

So that they have something to pick in the off-season.

Switzerland Jokes More Switzerland Jokes

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

What's so good about living in Switzerland?

Not sure but the flag's a big plus.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

Why cant people with no feet drink milk?

Because they are lack toes intolorent.

What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

What happens when a calculus teacher with one arm can't figure out a proof?

He gets stumped.

How do you get whole race to hate you?

Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)