Play Jokes

Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What Video Game do feminists LOVE to play?

No MAN'S sky!

Why couldn't the shoes go out and play?

A: They were all tied up.

This joke may have profanity.

What position do u play?

ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.

Why do North Americans hate playing chess?

Cause they lack the towers.

Why does tigger have no friends?

Because he plays with pooh.

How do you tell a British guy that it's his turn to play ball?

Europe"

What do you call a play about a moose on a bicycle?

A Moosical

When Greek people play a video game, what settings do they use?

Default

What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid?

Toyodas

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball?

They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)

Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek?

cause nobody would be looking for them.

How can you tell if your stormtroopers just played paintball in their freetime again?

You can't.

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?

First it goes ping then it goes pong.

Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

Will-e. Shakespeare.

What do baby pythons play with?

Rattle-snakes.

Who's your friend who likes to play?

JOHN CENA** *DUn DUnDUnDUn DUn DUnDUnDUn.*

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.

What do Mexicans play at their funerals?

Another Juan Bites The Dust

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

What do you call it when batman plays hooky from church?

Christian Bale

How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?

A: Shoot one.

What do you call a Muslim who plays '50s rock music during Ramadan?

a Rama-dana-ding-dong

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

How many birds can play tic-tac-toe?

Toucan

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well?

Her coach was a pumpkin

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."

Why does nobody like Tigger?

Because he plays with Pooh.

Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland?

All the horses drowned

What is Stevie Wonder's favorite key to play in?

C minor

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter

Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game?

He got suspended.

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

When does one play a corny game?

You play it by ear.

Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

What white actor is going to play Prince in his bio pic?

Peter Dinklige

Why couldn't Harry play basketball?

Because he's got no arms.

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

What do you call it when seven minutes in heaven is played at Comic-Con?

A: Close encounters of the nerd kind

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why don't skeletons play music in church?

Because they got no organs.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

Because it's all play.

Why do orphans play tennis?

It's the only way they can get love.

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

What game do monsters play with humans?

Squash.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

What is a tornado's favorite game to play?

Twister!

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What colour pants do you need to start a vehicle?

Khaki

What do you call someone who went into a birth clinic and started shooting at everyone there?

Spawn camper.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

Why don't you people see how racist Pokemon Go is?

All of my friends are now talking about how they have to catch Amal.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What is a toad's favorite genre of music?

Hip hop.

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What's the name of Michael J Fox's dry-cleaner?

Park and Sons. /Park en sons/ http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t57/Thomzilla/Fazed/michaeljfoxshakennotstirred.gif

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

Rapper Jokes More Rapper Jokes

Why did the rapper visit the urologist?

Because his flows were so sick.

What do you call a rapper who masterbates a lot?

Lil Wayne-ker

Reddit Joke Jokes More Reddit Joke Jokes

Whats common between Reddit jokes &amp Dave ?

You never get tired of seeing them again &amp again ...

Why are Reddit jokes so overused?

I don't know, ask Dave.

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

Why did the duck go to the basketball game?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls!

What's a 68?

She blows me and I owe her one.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

What is the difference between a goat and 9/11?

You cannot milk a goat for 13 years