Asian Jokes

What's it called when an Asian man gives his best friend head?

A bro job.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How can you instantly blind an Asian person?

put a steering wheel in front of them

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS?

RICE-IS

What do you call a productive Asian?

China get something done.

What's the difference between an Asian and a dumb white girl?

The Asian try to get the A, but the white girl try to get the D

Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?

Neither. It's a Thai.

Why do Asian parents never have a white baby?

Cause two Wongs don't make a white

Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?

Because he just couldn't bereave it.

What do you call an Asian penguin?

A penguyen

Why do Asian woman have small breasts?

Because her parents accept nothing less than an A.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What's Asian on top and black on bottom?

IQ distribution graph

What is the Asian firefighter's favorite song?

The Sound of Sirens

What did the asian couple name their black baby?

Sum sing wong

What do you call an Asian flying a plane?

A pirate.

What is a perfect society formed by a Asian called?

A Yutopia

Why do Asian students do so well in school?

Because an Asian without A's is a sin

How does an Asian Cowboy say Hello?

Ni-Hao-dy"

What's it called when a transgender person hooks up with an Asian?

A Trans Pacific Partnership

What do you get when you cross a black and asian man?

slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive.

Why isn't the speed of light Asian?

Because it never gets better than a 'C'.

What do you call an Asian woman on the moon?

an Astronaut

What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other?

Irene

What, I'm Asian?

slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How do you get an Asian to crash their car?

Make the windshield full screen

What did the asian do after receiving a test with a bad grade?

Bangladesh

What do you call an asian who flies planes?

A pilot.

What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring?

Panda-monium.

What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?

Pai-Ling

Why are there no asian knights?

Armor is pretty much useless once there's a chink in it.

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?

Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?

None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.

Why do certain asian boxers hate the Rebel Alliance?

Because they are Thai fighters.

What's the difference between a Caucasian and an asian?

The cauc.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.

What do you call a quiet asian?

Silent-li

What do you call an Asian guy that always shows up before he needs to?

Earl Lee

How do you blind an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

What do you call a tropical depression on a SE Asian island?

Malaise-ia

What do you call an Asian pothead?

Tao Lee

Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

What do you call an Asian in a tank?

A chink in the armor.

What's the hardest part of golf for asians?

Driving

What do you call an Asian Terrorist group?

Rice-is

Why didnt the asian block a punch coming to his face?

He couldn't see it coming

What do you call an asian who hates black people?

A member of the Kru Krux Kran

What do you call an Asian cow in space?

The Milky Wei.

What do you call a calm Asian man?

A Mellow Yellow

Why is it so hard to sleep with Asian women?

It can be a slippery slope.

How do you know an Asian has robbed your house?

They're still in your driveway

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?

Irene

What do you call a dirty Chinese crab?

A crusty asian

Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

What do you call an Asian gangster wearing a blue bandana?

A rice crippy.

What do you call a borderline racial slur about a person of Asian decent?

A slippery slope.

Why do Asian people never seem to age?

I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.

What do you call the Asian-Mexican master race from outer space?

Illegal Aryans

How do you make an Asian Blind?

you put a windshield in front of them

What do the teenagers call the Asian red light district?

Vachina Town

Why is it that the asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow?

Sincerely, confused.

What do you call an Asian who is always on time?

Thai Mingh Ha. Ha. Ha.

What do you call an Asian wearing contacts?

Customization. GET IT CUSTOM EYES ASIAN!!!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

What do Asian people use as blindfolds?

Shoe laces.

What do you call an Asian Pothead camping in Yellowstone?

A Yellowstoner.

What do you call an Asian gold digger?

Cha Ching

What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection?

They break their nose!

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha Ching!*

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed asian

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other Ilene. What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene

What did the Asian police dog say to the robber?

Fleas!

What do Asian pirates say?

ELLLLLLL!!!

How do you know a mod of /r/jokes is Asian?

dereted

What do you call a horny asian woman?

Actually, I'm not going to finish that. It's a slippery slope.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a promiscious asian lady?

A yellow taxi.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong.

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.

What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!"

How do you know if an Asian is depressed?

All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.

What did they stamp on the Asian baby as he came out of his mother's womb?

Made in Va-China.

What do you call an "Asian" that loves using moisturizer?

Laotian.

How is Ellen Pao so good at driving Reddit into the ground?

I thought Asian women couldn't drive &amp#3232&amp#3232

How do Asian's name their children?

Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*

How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?

None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.

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Sub Jokes More Sub Jokes

What do you call a dog that is underwater?

A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.

What do you call a dog subbing for a music teacher?

A subwoofer.

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarity between a bicycle and a black man?

The rightful owner of both is white

What is the similarity between Steve Job and Robb Stark?

They both died when they were really popular.

Crush Jokes More Crush Jokes

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?

Because they had a crush on each other !sna

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What do men and hardwood flooring have in common?

Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Work Day Jokes More Work Day Jokes

What's a mortician's least favorite day on the job?

Bring Your Kid to Work Day

What are some good Asian jokes you know?

I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.

Asians Jokes More Asians Jokes

What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

How do Asians see the world?

In widescreen.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What rhymes with Jon Snow?

He doesn't know. , Sorry for the lame joke, just made it up.

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Sin Jokes More Sin Jokes

What did God say to the cheese that sinned?

Gouda Hell.

Why do Asian students do so well in school?

Because an Asian without A's is a sin